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  1. H

    Jokes

    A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way. The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father." The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that." The...
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    Jokes

    From a Florida Wal-Mart: Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle. From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his...
  3. H

    Jokes

    Dear Abby: My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job four years ago he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he...
  4. H

    Jokes

    Yeah something like - Healthy Heart and Head! So much for the 'way to a man's heart is through his stomach. . . ' More like 'Stiffen your heart and keep your head up. . . . .'
  5. H

    Jokes

    An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scot were sitting in a bar.The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional. "Y'know," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home Why, in Glasgow there's a wee bar called McTavish's. Now, the landlord there goes out of his...
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    Jokes

    Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in a another city. The first said "I had a...
  7. H

    Jokes

    Subject: Blind Man's Bar A blind man enters an all female bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep...
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    Jokes

    A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching English, reading, writing, math and science. One day the wife of the chief gives birth to a white child. The members of the tribe are shocked, and the Chief pulls the professor...
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    Jokes

    A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive. It was, and she said to her husband, "It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with...
  10. H

    Jokes

    THEY HIRED HIM AT WAL-MART!!! This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas. (They hired him because he was so funny). NAME: George Martin SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least, one who'll...
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    Jokes

    If you have ever testified in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this Cop. A defense attorney was cross-examining a Police officer during a felony trial-it went like this.... Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a...
  12. H

    Jokes

    Sex and Shopping. . . . I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart. I have never figured out why the...
  13. H

    Jokes

    What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag. Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? One US leader...
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    Jokes

    A tip for guys! I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and...
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    Jokes

    TRUE Tales - Taken from a Medical Journal: A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I...
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    Jokes

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MEMORABLE MERGERS Xerox and Wurlitzer -- (The new company plans to make reproductive organs.) Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler (The new company will be...
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    Jokes

    I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly...
  18. H

    Jokes

    A middle aged woman went to a Wal-Mart service counter and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work. The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on 'special'. Suddenly, the woman throws her arms up in...
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    Jokes

    The ultimate response to a Dear John letter... You gotta love a man like this... Humor in the face of defeat A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had...
  20. H

    Jokes

    His cousin's name is "Ben Dover"!!
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