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Dear Tide: I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all through my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month go, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My...

Bob returned from a doctor's visit and told his wife Alma that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live. Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him. Of course she agreed and they made passionate love. Six hours later, Bob went to her again, and said, "Honey, now I only...

I've always wondered about that name.............. This good looking man walks into an agent's office in Hollywood and says "I want to be a movie star. " Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials. The agent asked, "What's your name?" The guy said, "My...

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench one evening, looking at the moon and talking. One blonde says to the other, "What do you think is farther away........Florida or the moon"? The other blonde turns and says, "Helloooooooooooooooooooo, can you see Florida from here?"

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just take the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy....... The apples at the top think...

Well, this is my 5th year as a trader. One day I will be perfect, but until then I do a LOT of studying. I trade from home and suggest that you do the same. Get a night job and trade your income from that. Eventually you will get good at trading or decide to quit. I read all the basic...

A silly newsreport/movie in Iraq for y'all. http://www.iranian.com/Anyway/2004/September/news.html :)

bobcathy1 is gone for good. She is not coming back.

Confessions An elderly Italian man who lived in the outskirts of Monte Cassino went to the local church for confession. He said: "Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. So I hid her in my attic." The priest replied...

Guy, it depends on the strategy you use. For mine, I need to have the $TICK and YM on the same chart. I can only use a time chart to do that. After you mentioned this, I started comparing the charts to see if there was an edge to be gained. Though it is interesting how all three chart...

Hey, that is MyTwoCent's tag line.....plagiarist:p

After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Cleveland to say hello to his friends. Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wasa da treepa?" Luigi said, "Everytinga wasa perfecto except for da traina ride down." "Whata you mean...

Two Women at the Pearly Gates Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing stories on how they died. 1st woman: I froze to death. 2nd woman: How horrible! 1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally...

Did you hear? France is stripping Lance Armstrong of his medals because he tested positive for 3 substances banned in France..... ........Deodorant, mouthwash and soap.:D

The owner of a golf course in Tennessee was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the Univ. of Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much...

Have you been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking...surely I cannot look that old? You may enjoy this short story. While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered...

A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in process. A sign read: Don't Miss The Amazing Italian." The salesman bought a ticket and sat down. There, on center stage, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Italian. Suddenly, the old man...

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before. The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and...

1. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest? They Take The Psycho Path 2. How Do You Get Holy Water? You Boil The Hell Out Of It. 3. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall? Dam! 4. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit? Unique Up On It. 5. How Do You Catch a Tame...

A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith for advice about enlarging her breasts. He told her, "Everyday when you get out of the shower, rub your nipples and say, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies." So she did this faithfully for several months, and it worked! She grew great...