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Stephen Wright bon mots........ * I had amnesia once -- maybe twice. * Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. * All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy. * I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. * What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free...

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman." The priest asks "is that you, little Tommy O'Shaughnessy?" "Yes, Father it is." "And, who was the woman you were with?" "I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her eputation." "Well, Tommy, I'm...

Marriage - Part I Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I...

God was just about done creating man, but he had two things left over in his bag and He couldn't quite decide how to split them between Adam and Eve. He thought He might just as well ask them. He told them one of the things He had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while...

Tom did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. Soon, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe standing in front of his bed. "What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?...and who are you?" he asked. "This is not your bedroom," the...

The drug to cure all ills.......:D

Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Michigan State University, has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in. At a news conference announcing the invention, a large group of men took Dr. Rickson...

A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide. The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to...

WORLD'S THINNEST BOOKS FRENCH WAR HEROES by Jacques Chirac HOW I SERVED MY COUNTRY by Jane Fonda MY BEAUTY SECRETS by Janet Reno HOW TO BUILD YOUR OWN AIRPLANE by John...

The Nudist Colony A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, "Did you...

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather humorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to...

You know; You live in Arizona when... 1.You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. 2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel. 3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl. 4. You...

Why Men Are Just Happier People What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be president. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a...

On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels ************************** On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business." ************************** Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."...

Billy Bob and Bubba Ray were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Bubba Ray, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years...

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left...

Leave my friend Woodie alone.:mad: This junk has gone on long enough.:( He is a wonderful human being who helps his fellow man.:) Unlike the people who post crap about his room.:eek: Don't you have anything else better to do?:confused: Bunch of old gossipy ladies in these threads if...

Marathon in the Florida Keys. Lived there for a long while and loved it. All the amenities you need and all the water, sky and sunshine you can handle. :cool:

Oh Samson, You let out our plans for world domination. Zoltan wants to have a word with you. ROFLOL.:D

I tried Don Miller too. Bought everything the guy had to offer. Cost me a fair chunk of change. I realize why his system works so well for him. It is the accumulated knowledge he has, not just the system he wrote down. That is really impossible to put down on paper. So I study...