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My elderly neighbour locked herself out of her house and she asked for help. It was cold and getting dark I decided to smash her back door in. I then called a locksmith to get her into the house.

I sent Obama an e mail: "My dad says you're spying on us all." Obama replied, "He's not your dad."

I've just got a new job as a Barbarian. It's just like being a librarian, but I also cut hair.

My obese wife is sleeping naked on her waterbed tonight as she's too hot. I'm having a great time putting water in her belly button, pushing her stomach and shouting "There she blows"

"I think it's about time we try for a baby" said my wife. "Does that mean we're about to have sex?" I asked excitedly. "Oh fuck," she said," Never mind."

Can't wait until Friday night, my wife's cooking Lasagne. And I will be 500 miles away on a business trip thank fuck.

When one door closes, another door opens... And that's why I'm no longer employed as a carpenter.

"Trayvon On Top Of Zimmerman When Shot" After Zimmer shot him, he should have pulled down trayvons zipper and cried rape.:D

When my wife left me, I couldn't see the point in living anymore. That was 35 minutes ago, and I'm fucking loving it now. ---------------------------------

Applicants also would have to complete 16 hours of firearms training, including classroom and range instruction, to qualify. --------------------- You know what would be funny. If a street thug caught with a gun had to take the course.

I am surprised that you feel this way. you come across as a businessman who works hard and am surprised at your logic. Oh well, I agree with AAA.

It would be nice to get an apology from the black community. Also, I think Jorge should be compemsated for the bullet. Bullets ain't cheap.

I was at my girlfriend's parents today when her mom offered me a cup of tea. "I don't like tea thanks," I said. "Well what do you like?" She asked. "Hardcore porn, class A drugs and when your daughter let's us do anal." "I was hoping coffee," she replied.

lmao....Obama had trayvon pegged right. if I had a son.............he'd be in a choom gang...

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Muslim don't accept homo's, billions of moral people out there n'est ce pas?

"OK. Then they are just pieces of firewood and therefore can be used as heating fuel," said Master Dan Xia. "Can you pass me another piece of firewood please? I need some warmth." ---------------------- I missing your point. (I think)..... Okay to burn a wooden Budha but not the Koran?

:D :D :D Remember the part when Tarzan kicked Jane in the crotch? She said "what did you do that for?" "Tarzan check for squirrels."

There was a married couple at jfK airport waiting for their flight back to Canada. They were dressed in parkas and boots. A mother and her grown son sees them and the mother says to her son "I wonder where they are going." "Why don't you go find out?" The son goes over to the...

I don't know much about African culture. Except that there isn't any situation where dancing is inappropriate. :cool: