I have to confess.
I like being a trader, because I don't like working.
I mean,once one has passed the hurdles (10k hrs screen time, methodologies, core of psychology/"spirituality" issues tackled, money management, etc), then to be honest it's great.
When I trade, I don'y feel like I am working at all, even if sometimes I just want to
be stuck to the screen to really pick a certain trade. I can stay in front of the screen 24 hours, but I like it. I am even pissed when I have to go and eat or other bio stuff.
I did not start it for the money, more for the intellectual challenge,
but now, I am fine with the money coming from trading.
And yes, the world works like this : some make in less time, what others earn in more time.
Unfair ? yes and no. Yes when I think taxes, because I do not feel the government
helped me at all, so why should they get a penny? Fair because I feel like
nobody deserve it more than I do. All the shit I have taken, in my view, pales with the rewards.So no, I absolutely do not feel guilty at all about trading profits.
I don't say that losers are assholes somewhere, but I checking their
"karma", "family karma" and the whole "spirituality" thing might explains quiet a few things.
I like actually watching people working, while I am just keeping busy till I decide it is
time to check if the trade has finally reached its target.
The losses don't even bother me anymore. May be because I already did the relatively "heavy losses". And I now realize that these losses were wanted.
Now, I am not really interested in losses.
I used to be angry with the profits, because I felt it was "lazy" money, not hard earned money, guilt of hidden privileges; but now, I am happy with cashing in these profits, as it allows me to be able to be more lazy. I have not as yet gone the full lazy road, as I'd be embarrassed for the hard workers, but I am considering taking steps to.
Also, I am very happy that I developed great compassion ( may be this harassment
had some positives

): and I am really glad to know that this one is going ahead
as I acted solely for the person's benefits. I learned that revenge is best left to God,
and I agree. Just learned that one of the person involved in the harassment has
died in - guess where ? "Sin City" shooting. Damn : a shortened life for harassing someone : was it worth it? And now, the others might not even know about "the generational sins"
they have accumulated.
I am very proud of my moral values. Actually that's the one thing I am the most proud of:
my very strong ethics. I don't despise those with low ethics, just a little bit : they
are idiots who have turned their back on God, the Creator. For what?
The one thing I realized from one very singular retreat, was that God does exist, these "Book of Life" are real.
Also God works in a very mysterious ways. But whatever God wants done, get done :
never in the way human would imagine, but it gets done, even fouling humans to get
them to do God's decisions.
I went into deep "clean" esoterism : it's scarry, because it is a completely different
world. I am glad that I always kind of came across "Saints", so that I did not get into
some deadlocks of "Sa ùù TA ùù NISM".
These Bouddhists are really into something with their concept of Karma. I like being a trader, because I can ask myself "how can I increase my good Karma".
Yes I like feeling lucky, and actually being lucky. I also like being able to read some of
people's thoughts. I still have to find someone who can explain how this thing works,
and how it can be developed. For sure South East Asians have a great culture.
I can't stand paki-indi et al : they should learn to fuck off for good.
I also like being a trader, because when some stupid people try to judge me because
I don't have a job, nowdays, I simply say I have retired. They are always shocked " so young?" , "yes, I have retreats to prepare for". Now, some people are starting to realise
they sold their time and lives to the river.
I am really glad trading found me.
* * *
And, instead of being dead, fully disabled or brain damaged as some wished and acted ( even paid for), I can write this :I am alive, in good health on all aspects.
And all these "thank you for having helped me stop smoking",
"thank you for the money", "thank you for whatever" people are thanking me for, the forests/properties people are offering as a thank you for health recovered, etc.
would have been impossible without you. Without your blind
faith. Without your extraordinary courage. Thank you.
Thanks again
All that has to be done will be done.