I’m sorry for what happened to you.
First of all, a bad decision while you were under a financial pressure does not make you a gambler. More than one market wizards were facing bankruptcy and borrowed money.
Secondly, your decision is consistent with Nobel prize winning Daniel Kahneman’s ‘prospect theory. This bias applies to all of us, and most people in your situation would make similar decision, especially if under pressure. Nevertheless, your decision was unrealistic and on the gambling side.
Borrowing money if you’re poor can very easily lead to gambling, therefore make sure that you do NOT cross the line again, and do NOT borrow money again. Besides, trading with money which you cannot afford to lose is a recipe for disaster, it’s too much pressure, and almost impossible to handle for most newbies, especially if your psychology is not 100%.
If your technique, risk management, and my psychology is good as you claim, then a good forex trader can make consistently on average minimum of >2R per week, therefore triple digit annual return is very realistic. If you can prove similar figure over the last 1 ½ years (at least on a demo), then some people will take you seriously even though you might choke when it comes to live trading.
If you can prove such consistency at least on a demo account, then I’m sure that someone would risk few hundred dollars on you for a 50/50 business venture and back you up so you can try going live, and if you can handle that even with live trading then attracting larger capital should not be that big of a deal if you’re genuinely good. Because $100 in your country is lots of money, then you don’t need large amount to back you up.
Or you could enter FOREX demo contests and competitions
https://allforexbonus.com/forex-competition/forex-demo-contest/
Whatever you do, do NOT borrow money again, or you’ll become a gambler. Learn from your mistake, start studying psychology of risk and decision making under uncertainty, work on your mental game, and create a consistent, verifiable track record.
But right now, you need to take a break, refocus, create a trading and business plan, and then take it one step at a time.
