Hypostomus' proposterous surreal-time journal

[dbphoenix]

So what is your name, dear, and how long do you think you'll have control of the computer?

 

[hypostomus]

...shut up! I deal wid yo' latah. Rat now, someBODY on de STREET be in TROUBLE, mess wid DoMINica! De retrace, thass aw-write, happen a lot. But the 'postopus, he narrate in surreal-time, play-by-play sorta, an' 'xactly at 10:24:59, to de second, he say, someBODY trigga 'yo stop. TO DE SECOND. 'Postopus say, "doan fall fo' it, issa TRICK", so ah dint. Let dem short ride (ah say "dem" cause de 'Pus tole me add anotha on de retrace, what he know?), close 'em out fo' lessa loss. It be he 'count anyways. I be gone now, to de STREET, finda sucka diddat, he goan pay. Big iffn he be big, little iffn not, mos' likey. Fortunate, ah already dress fo' it. He ah come!

 

[hypostomus]

...I come back from a week long Pristine trading camp to find this mess! My password highjacked. Crazies posting in my name. They even traded my account this morning! That's OK. I know how to make it now, thanks Pristine! I'm quitting this crummy day job right now, not fit work for a dignified old man like me. Can't take these loonies any more. Total fruit cakes. So don't post here again, it might encourage them to come back, especially that lunatic Dr. Emeritus, thank the gracious Lord he never posted! To all my friends, and especially my enemas, thanks for posting and defending my high standards while I was gone! Very soon now, be watching, I will share my newfound knowledge by starting a thread in the TA forum titled "Uncle Hypostomus Little Book of Easy TA Lessons for Children". Bye now.