There's a concept in Catholic doctrine called the moral object.
The moral object of an action is the ultimate end to which that action is ordered towards, regardless of the actual motives of the individual, or the real-life consequences and benefits that end up resulting from the action.
I'm quite far from being an expert in the wisdom of life. But one thing I have learned is that genuine satisfaction is rarely gained unless we stop and really try to understand the long-term effects of our choices; the way we live our everyday lives.
Ever since I can remember, I've always felt different. I had a decent education, childhood friends, middle-class parents that could've done a lot worse... A relatively normal life. So this has always been more of an internal conceptualization.
But the feeling persisted and intensified as I grew. I remember being constantly baffled at how almost everyone around me seemed to get up for school or their jobs and go about a relatively routine everyday life with what appeared to be a minimal amount of effort.
It took me a great deal of effort to get out of bed every morning and stay engaged in my daily responsibilities, and I was plagued by sustained feelings of dissatisfaction, isolation, despair, lack of purpose...
I eventually dabbled with drugs like many kids do, but they were a lot more appealing to me than to most others because they seemingly provided an antidote for this ever-present dysphoria of mine.
Long story short, drugs did what they do, and I eventually found myself addicted, distant from friends and family, less productive and intelligent... powerless against my appetites... quality of life was lower than ever before.
I'd wake up feeling awful and desperate to escape that feeling regardless of the consequences; a self-sustaining cycle.
Basing our decisions on emotions and immediate-term effects is a recipe for misery. My time in active addiction was an extreme example of that, but the lesson is applicable to life in general as well as trading.
To start getting better, I had to learn to disregard the potent short-term incentives for taking drugs, and instead think about what choices like these would cause my life to look like in 10 years, 20 years, on my deathbed. The projection didn't resemble a picture that was coherent with any of my values and the things I found truly satisfying.
I've grown, and hope to continue growing in having the integrity to make choices that reflect my deepest values and desires, regardless of their cost or difficulty.
For example, I strive to make personal sacrifices, encourage, and support my wife every day, regardless of if they are well-received or even noticed; regardless of if they are reciprocated or how I've been treated recently.
I have a marriage that is immensely satisfying to me. But it isn't a matter of luck, a perfect match, or infatuation. Humility, grace, and a lot of hard work make it so. We aren't passive agents to the circumstances of our lives, or to the success of our endeavors, like trading. They are products of the thousands of little choices and sacrifices we make over the days and the years; the values and visions that we work towards.
