Dai is available on Gemini, Coinbase, and Kraken, why is it a pain in the ass to buy?
It's also on Uniswap
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There's talks of a stablecoin going to the Lightning Network, that might be good enough for you, re: privacy
uniswap is a pain in the ass
afaict, even with kraken et al you have to buy ETH first... no?
Anyway, until it's private, I don't gaf.