,,Don't be the Hero - be the Guide''
- Thread starter Nobert
- Start date
Good one Norbet, thanks. Brilliant thoughts that i can use. Loved how the guys connected and how Don worked it.
The victim topic came up quite a bit. This is what i know about it.
The pathology is based around envy...When a child has a parent that envies a quality or some aspect that is different to the parents own life(ie see's that the child has something that he/she doesnt have or is felt not to have or believes he/she doesnt have) , the child picks up on this ie "see it or feels it" but it is often too much for the child to bear and so he/she splits off or dissociates from this energy. The design of this is so that the child still maintains a positive object relation to the parent (the negative aspect goes to the unconscious ie out of awareness). Why does the child do this ? well the child feels hated on some level. The parent is often unconscious that he/she is projecting this mechanism/state/field onto the child. The emotion of envy is poor me...this is often what the child is left with and this often carries throughout their life and into the work place etc as the two men descibe very well. It is often related to a cousin call Narcissism eg being wounded due to a criticism is a form of narcissism...the opposite end of the narssisitic scale is narssistic character formation where one is both speaker and listener at the same time. Difficult to penetrate such an individual and one feels shut off and the unconscious message is to sut up and listen. One can get very angry around these types.
as one is not seen.
enough walfling from me. Thanks again Norbet.You are right. You dont encounter such valuable interviews like the one you posted often. Many thanks !
The victim topic came up quite a bit. This is what i know about it.
The pathology is based around envy...When a child has a parent that envies a quality or some aspect that is different to the parents own life(ie see's that the child has something that he/she doesnt have or is felt not to have or believes he/she doesnt have) , the child picks up on this ie "see it or feels it" but it is often too much for the child to bear and so he/she splits off or dissociates from this energy. The design of this is so that the child still maintains a positive object relation to the parent (the negative aspect goes to the unconscious ie out of awareness). Why does the child do this ? well the child feels hated on some level. The parent is often unconscious that he/she is projecting this mechanism/state/field onto the child. The emotion of envy is poor me...this is often what the child is left with and this often carries throughout their life and into the work place etc as the two men descibe very well. It is often related to a cousin call Narcissism eg being wounded due to a criticism is a form of narcissism...the opposite end of the narssisitic scale is narssistic character formation where one is both speaker and listener at the same time. Difficult to penetrate such an individual and one feels shut off and the unconscious message is to sut up and listen. One can get very angry around these types.
as one is not seen.enough walfling from me. Thanks again Norbet.You are right. You dont encounter such valuable interviews like the one you posted often. Many thanks !
Great comment and you're welcome.Good one Norbet, thanks. Brilliant thoughts that i can use. Loved how the guys connected and how Don worked it.
The victim topic came up quite a bit. This is what i know about it.
The pathology is based around envy...When a child has a parent that envies a quality or some aspect that is different to the parents own life(ie see's that the child has something that he/she doesnt have or is felt not to have or believes he/she doesnt have) , the child picks up on this ie "see it or feels it" but it is often too much for the child to bear and so he/she splits off or dissociates from this energy. The design of this is so that the child still maintains a positive object relation to the parent (the negative aspect goes to the unconscious ie out of awareness). Why does the child do this ? well the child feels hated on some level. The parent is often unconscious that he/she is projecting this mechanism/state/field onto the child. The emotion of envy is poor me...this is often what the child is left with and this often carries throughout their life and into the work place etc as the two men descibe very well. It is often related to a cousin call Narcissism eg being wounded due to a criticism is a form of narcissism...the opposite end of the narssisitic scale is narssistic character formation where one is both speaker and listener at the same time. Difficult to penetrate such an individual and one feels shut off and the unconscious message is to sut up and listen. One can get very angry around these types.
enough walfling from me. Thanks again Norbet.You are right. You dont encounter such valuable interviews like the one you posted often. Many thanks !
I have to admit, that i fall into one of those, who had such figures in their life.
The solution that i found, is -
cutting of relationships for 2 - 3 years.
Basically, when you're not around em, the level of negative emotion and resentment - is almost gone.
Because, the moment you sit at one table with one of those people, all of it comes back, despite of their behaviour.
Another thing that helps to get yourself grounded from narcissistic clouds, is becoming more humble by educating yourself on the horrors of human kind , like auschwitz and russian gulags.
Or spending time with kids & animals.
Realizing that many had way, way worse cards dealt in life than you.
Is there anything that you could add on the top of that, on ,,solutions" for one, in order to deal with such figures ?
(Members of your family)
very interesting Norbet.
The narsissist is a tricky beast especially in ones own family.. one is often forced to be their mirror. The narsissitic character formation types typically have been injured around the age of 2-3 years. It is from a lack of mirroring themselves from the significant other(s) that results in these sort of energies. Quite often there is a rage that ignites if they are rebelled against. Symptomatic of their early wound. When one is around such people it can feel the life getting sucked out of oneself. It is important to feel ones own rage/anger in the presence of such a person. One has to make consious the sort of behaviours and feelings one adopts around such people eg placating, idolising, wanting to get away, resignation, feeling stuck, rageful etc
They are often charismatic types and appear to carry a lot of power yet inside they feel empty, devoid of it. There is a gentleman who has passed now (only a month ago) named Nathan Schwartz Salant. Incredible man , one of the top Jungians of the world. I believe he had a book some 25 plus years ago on it (Narssism and Character formation i believe) and actually got to finish a similar book before his death on narcissism. When it comes out i will let you know. With his last book he wrote it in such a way as to give further insight (than what i can offer ) into the narsissist and how to deal with them. He also wrote on trump and the positive sides of narcissism. Very clever fellow.
I hope that helps a little Norbet.
The narsissist is a tricky beast especially in ones own family.. one is often forced to be their mirror. The narsissitic character formation types typically have been injured around the age of 2-3 years. It is from a lack of mirroring themselves from the significant other(s) that results in these sort of energies. Quite often there is a rage that ignites if they are rebelled against. Symptomatic of their early wound. When one is around such people it can feel the life getting sucked out of oneself. It is important to feel ones own rage/anger in the presence of such a person. One has to make consious the sort of behaviours and feelings one adopts around such people eg placating, idolising, wanting to get away, resignation, feeling stuck, rageful etc
They are often charismatic types and appear to carry a lot of power yet inside they feel empty, devoid of it. There is a gentleman who has passed now (only a month ago) named Nathan Schwartz Salant. Incredible man , one of the top Jungians of the world. I believe he had a book some 25 plus years ago on it (Narssism and Character formation i believe) and actually got to finish a similar book before his death on narcissism. When it comes out i will let you know. With his last book he wrote it in such a way as to give further insight (than what i can offer ) into the narsissist and how to deal with them. He also wrote on trump and the positive sides of narcissism. Very clever fellow.
I hope that helps a little Norbet.
The whole book should do the work.
For now, it's still an uncharted part of the mental ,,map".
Thanks, looking forward to read it.