Johnnyrock said:
"My question remains. Why should the wife obey the husband? Without pointing to a scripture to make your point, why - logically - does the same New Testament you are quoting say the woman should OBEY?
I think you are asking if I can explain why a woman should OBEY her husband apart from a scriptural reason.
From logic only I would offer these reasons:
In order to preserve harmonious relationships and in order to accomplish a purpose, there are, in most societies, established orders of authority.
Examples:
Armed forces operate using a chain of command.
Managers direct workers to do specific tasks and follow company rules.
Schools use teachers to provide instruction and enforce rules.
Friendships operate differently in that there is (should be) mutual respect. But even in a friendship, in order to do anything, there must be agreement. Without the need for “obedience” a friendship actually still performs the principle of mutual submission. Simply put, one must agree to do the suggestion of another in order to do accomplish anything. Example: One friend wants to meet at the gym. The other friend either agrees to go or doesn’t. But that agreement or disagreement is very similar to the principle of “obedience" if it is thought of in the terms of simply doing what someone else wants you to do.
From a logical perspective it makes sense that in order to operate smoothly, within the family structure there should also be a “chain of command.”
Now I will attempt to use Scripture to answer your question.
The subject of obedience is a theme of the Bible from the very beginning. God gave a command to our first parents, Adam and Eve, and they did not obey Him.
One of the punishments resulting from their disobedience was that God told the woman that her husband would “rule over her.”
There are a couple points to make about this.
- This instruction was never given to the man. In other words, the man has NOT been commanded to rule over his wife.
- It came as a result of their disobedience. It was not God’s original design of marriage for a man to rule over his wife.
- The same passage alludes to the woman wanting to rule over the man.
- To sum it all up, husbands and wives are going to have struggles with power control in marriage. Just like every other area of life, what was originally created good and perfect has now been affected by the unpleasant results of sin.
Johnnyrock wrote: "Love does not require obedience. Abusive husbands require obedience."
First of all, I do agree with you that “
abusive husbands require obedience.” I do not see anywhere in scripture where a husband is to enforce his wife’s obedience. In fact, one passage that instructs wives to submit to their husbands precedes that verse by telling all believers to submit to each other.
21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Ephesians 5:21, 22
How do people mutually submit to one another? They get along by considering others' needs before their own. This isn’t a command to have disorder and chaos within a church with everybody bossing everybody else around. In the same way, there is nothing in Scripture telling husbands to be tyrannical in their leadership. Instead, there are many Scriptures teaching against domineering behavior. Here are a few:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her Eph 5:25
Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you. Eph 4:32
Pastors were instructed, “Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you…..not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.” 1 Peter 5:3
"In that day," declares the LORD, "you will call me 'my husband'; you will no longer call me 'my master.' Hosea 2:16
The preceding verse gives us the example of God in the rule of a Husband to Israel and He is a husband of tenderness, not a harsh master. The Pulpit Commentary puts it this way:
And one last point to make:
Being under an authority figure does not take away the value of a person. In fact, even within the Godhead of Father, Son and Holy Spirit the principles of mutual submission are displayed. The Father sent His Son and the Son submitted to His Father’s will in going to the cross for us.
I glorified You on the earth, having completed the work that You have given Me that I should do. And now, Father, glorify Me in Your presence with the glory I had with You before the world existed. John 17:4
