A Breakthrough in the Treatment of MPD

E

Emil Kraepelin

For those interested in the details, I will be publishing a paper in the Annals of the American Journal of Abnormal Trading Psychology. Following is a first draft of the abstract.

It is well known that intraday trading of stock index futures induces, exacerbates or exaggerates Multiple Personality Disorder in susceptible individuals (see Deco; Mudgins; Kraepelin). For nine years I have been treating an extraordinary case of Trading-Induced MPD, let us call him "Hypo", a corruption of the name of his favorite Marx brother. At times this eloquent and persuasive patient almost dragged me into his psychoses, reinforced by the belief of his on-line correspondents, but I persevered and now this patient, with a record number of nineteen personalities, is whole. Unfortunately, the result of this mental enema is that we buried his remains in a thimble this morning. It turns out that no one was home. His entire existence depended on mentally juggling multiple personality balls. As a caution to my peers, always make sure your clients are current on their accounts, as you never know what might happen to them as a result of your otherwise well-intended ministrations.
 
Forgive my bluntness but I have a hard time believing that there's no Hypo when there's still a Jack. Speaking of the pied piper, how can your thesis have credibility and depth without probing the role Jack played/plays in Hypo's psychosis? Let's get real... this is not an SCT thread!
 
Are you suggesting that Jack is an Internet virus, and that it infected Hypo? But that it mutated and made him a prickophant rather than a sycophant?
 
I am suggesting that Jack is an internet virus but a selective one that primarily infects two population segments: 1) gullible, naive and unsophisticated wannabe traders (the A Team) and 2) savvy, down-to-earth, real-world traders (the B Team). When an A Team member is infected, his infection progresses in the 4 stages I described earlier. I'll post the stages of infection for B Teamers sometime if you like.
 
My guilt at inadvertently therapeutically killing Hypo and all his multifarious personalities (the price of progress is pain) grieves me so much that I have undertaken to be his posthumous amanuensis. In going through his voluminous notes (first I had to trash his three Jack notebooks) I found the following desperate scribble: "Found the true guasians, now must find the true channels!". Adjacent was the attached screen shot. Perhaps someone can unterpret it for me.
 

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You may clear your throat of ET phlegm, Nkhoi, but I am convinced that Jack incited, nay caused, Hypo's MPD. In therapeutic sessions, Hypo shared with me his shame that he could not understand Jack, much less replicate his results. So Hypo incessantly brought up dark personalities from deep in his sick psyche to try to join Jack's sycophantic society. I am convinced that, ultimately, his failure to integrate caused his untimely reintegrative death.
 
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