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Computer Power The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped, exhausted. His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. "My, you look tired," she said. "You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make...

Dear Ma & Pa, I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I...

A sex therapist was having lunch with a friend. "I just read a survey that said 90% of adults masturbate in the shower; the other 10% sing." "Really?" asked her friend. The therapist nodded and asked, "Do you know what song they sing?" Her friend shook her head, "No." "I thought...

Guess my post was removed either by a democrat or someone who thought the pix was pornographic........gee guys, all that was naked was a little bitty dickie, not like you have not seen one of those before! LOL Sorry kids, I didn't save a copy so I can blur the offending member. It was...

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this : Last weekend at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Toni. What I came across was a 100,000-volt pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were...

Three Louisiana rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower - Cletis, Bubba and Earl. Earl falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Cletis says, "Someone should go and tell his wife." Bubba. says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do...

Gabriel came to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. We have some Texans up here who are causing problems. They're swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, barbecue sauce is all over their robes, their dogs are riding in the chariots, and they're wearing baseball caps and cowboy...

Perks of being over 55 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 3. No one expects you to run-----anywhere. 4. People call at 9 PM and ask, " Did I wake you ???? " 5. People no longer view you as a...

10 Things to Ponder for 2007 10. Life is sexually transmitted. 9. Good health is merely the slowest Rate at which one can die. 8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horney. If you see him without an Erection, make him a sandwich. 7. Give a...

When I was married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde. Now, we have a nice house, nice car...

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't...

You are so old, your birth-certificate expired. :p

Insults.... You are so old you fart dust!

THE COLONOSCOPY...... I went into my proctologist's office for my first rectal exam. His new nurse, Evelyn, took me to an examining room And told me to get undressed and have a seat Until the doctor could see me. She said that he would only be a few minutes. After putting on the...

A woman has an appointment with a gynecologist. She is escorted to the examining room by the nurse and told to strip from the waist down and sit in the examining chair. So she strips down and puts a sheet over herself and places her feet in the stirrups. The doctor comes in and lifts the...

To all who are Italian by blood or Italian by association. FRIENDS VS. ITALIAN FRIENDS FRIENDS: Never ask for food ITALIAN FRIENDS: bring food when ever they come over. FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs. ITALIAN FRIENDS: Call your parents mom and dad. FRIENDS: Have...

Overview: The trip to the vet with a lizard (as told by a good friend of mine). Here's what happened, as described by the father/husband of the family: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his...

Why Women Are Crabby... We started to " bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would...

And you were expecting something else?

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did.... FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into...