Okay. I'll make fun of it! :p
...The S&P 500 gained 7.1 percent to 822.92, its biggest increase since Oct. 28. The Dow Jones Industrial Average jumped 497.48 points, or 6.8 percent, to a five-week high of 7,775.86...
Just kiddin' Who'd a thunk we'd tack on an instant 7%???
Good...