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SECRET SERVICE VIEWS ON PRESIDENTS (For those who don't know... Capt. Denny Keast flies for UAL and flew many SAM's (Special Air Mission's) for the White House.) I flew 4 Presidential support missions in the C-141 out of Dover AFB, DE.. Two for President Johnson and two for President...

Drink up - Cheers! To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine.. and those who don't. To paraphrase Ben Franklin, "In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria." In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1...

WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public. Dogs miss you when you're gone. Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong. Dogs don't criticize your friends. Dogs admit when they're jealous. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out...

Men are like... .....placemats they only show up when there's food on the table. .....mascara they usually run at the first sign of emotion. .....bike helmets they're good in emergencies but usually just look silly. .....government bonds they take so long to mature...

Great Reasons To Be A Guy Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about trucks and tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one carry-on suitcase. You can open all your own jars. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind. You can go to the bathroom without...

Rules For Men 1. The Female always makes The Rules. 2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification. 3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules. 4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules...

Good Comebacks, Cont'd Question: "Why Aren't You Married Yet?" Answers: You haven't asked. I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life. Because I just love hearing this question. Just lucky, I guess. It gives my mother something to live for. My fiancee is awaiting...

The Art Of Good Comebacks Man: "Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic." Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore." Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit...

A Political Debate A man is sitting on a bench in the park reading a newspaper. Suddenly he jumps up, drops the paper onto the ground and yells, “All politicians are jerks!” A man from the bench across the way, eating his lunch, also rose violently and threw his half empty beer...

OK, Here Goes Hillary Clinton went for her annual exam. After the exam, the OB-GYN told her that she was pregnant, and in great shape. Hillary couldn't believe the news and stormed out of the office. She rushed to her limo, picked up the phone, dialed and screemed: "You got me pregnant...

Excellent Food For Thought For Us Traders http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rd8AJdcnw4A :) :) :)

Good Old Reliable Chuck Material Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain. There is no chin under Chuck Norris'...

Soemtimes, Getting Drunk Is Necessary A guy walks into a bar and orders a shot of whisky. He gulps it down and peeks into his shirt pocket. He orders another shot of whisky, gulps it down and peeks into his short pocket. He orders a third shot and does the same thing. After the sixth shot, he...

Some Scary Stuff It was a dark and stormy night. A guy was driving in some mountains and his car broke down. He stopped it by a tree and walked down the highway looking for help. A headlight started to approach him from behind. He turned back and noticed a car coming forth very slowly. He...

Southern Police Exam A police recruit in Alabama was asked during the exam: "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He squirmed: "MY Mama? Call for backup, quick!" :) :) :)

Yes, Another One A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady rhythmic pace, but the Antartian begins to slip from the saddle...

The Thoughtful Husband It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are over-sensitive, and there's nothing worse than an...

Highly Educational Analysis Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos: 1. The whole thing all at once. 2. One bite at a time 3...

Speaking Of A Miserable Life! A man who was unfaithful, mean and never paid any attention to his wife while she was alive now found himself missing her desperately. He went to a psychic to see if he could contact his late wife. The psychic went into a trance. A strange breeze wafted through...

Still Like This One A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighbourhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I...