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Of course, that same silly website has other "smart" quotes too - and they all look made up in the back room - like: The 10 Stupidest Things Hillary Clinton Has Ever Said: 10. "I have to confess that it's crossed my mind that you could not be a Republican and a Christian." 9. "God bless...

Agree - JWB smells better too :)

Hey, you can also pour some gasoline on it and light a match! :) :) :)

Black and White (Under age 40? You won't understand.) You could hardly see for all the snow. Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go. Pull a chair up to the TV set. "Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet." My mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting...

What Did The Judge Tell The Dentist? "Do you swear to take out the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth...?" :) :) :)

For The Love Of Golf Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has gotten so bad that once I've hit the ball I couldn't see where it...

Just to make sure I understand: "daytarding" means 'to start your day late'? :) :) :)

Bad but good! :) :) :)

Pickup Line Gem Man: Did it hurt? Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When you fell from heaven, did it hurt? :) :) :)

Most Ancient Profession One day a medical doctor, an architect and a politician were arguing which was the original, most ancient profession. The doctor said: "In the beginning, man was created - anatomy, physiology, biology... obviously, medicine is the most ancient profession." The...

Engineers One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down. The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke." The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered...

It's All Greek To Me I just wanted you guys to understand a little bit of my background... Btw, I have a cousin who looks almost exactly like Angelo: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=x0WTWb1vAHc :) :) :)

Thanks, topdown, that's a great complement to this old, funny story. :) :) :)

The Accident Report I am a professional construction worker, very experienced and capable about my work. Here are all the details of the accident that the insurance man asked for, dictated by me in his tape recorder: During the day in question, I was working on the roof of a six story...

The NY version: "If at first you don't succeed, try, try a gun." :) :) :)

Good Business Plan A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting in front of a church and they each had charity boxes in front of them to collect money. The church goers that were passing by couldn't believe the nerve of the rabbi, and purposely threw large sums of money into the priest's charity box to...

flytiger, I've seen this one before and I still think it's very funny. :) :) :)

Some Funny Quotes In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait." In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push." On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a...

Happy Farm Life A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later." "That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered...

Father And Son A cannibal and his son are out looking for food. They are watching people walk down the street. The son suggested a particularly plump woman and the father rejected saying that she's too fatty. Later on the son asked about a very skinny woman. Again the father refused...