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Blonde City Girl Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a Texas rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows the rancher says to Amy, "The artificial-insemination man is coming over to impregnate four of our cows today. I drove a nail into the two-by-four just above the first...

Bubbles and Barbie Bubbles and Barbie, two blonde sisters had promised their Uncle, who had been a seafaring gentleman all his life, to bury him at sea when he died. Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the two blondes kept their promise. They set off from Clearwater Beach with...

Driving A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells the blonde to look out for cops - especially cops with their lights on. After they've been driving for a while, the brunette asks the blonde if she's seen any cops. "Yes," says the blonde. "Are their lights on?"...

Blonde's Cooking Diary Monday: It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. Tuesday: Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't...

That's where a real Greek (not me) grabs his souvlaki spears and comes after you! :)

If you took a picture of the Sun at the same time each day, would it remain in the same position? The answer is no, and the shape traced out by the Sun over the course of a year is called an analemma. The Sun's apparent shift is caused by the Earth's motion around the Sun when combined with the...

Babu: The "Highest" Person In The World Babu Sassi, a fearless young man from southern India is the cult hero of Dubai's army of construction workers. Known as the "Indian on the top of the world", Babi is the crane operator at the world's tallest building — the 819-metre Burj Dubai. His...

Economic & Financial Wizardry This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format: "Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? "A. It is money that the federal government will send to...

Confucius Says (Cont'd): Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands. Man who walk middle of road get run over by bus. Man who eat jellybean relieve self in technicolor. Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants! Man who sit on tack get...

Actual Chinese Movie Subtitles 1. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin. 2. Gun wounds again? 3. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep. 4. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries. 5. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold? 6. Take my advice, or I'll spank...

Confucius Says: Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient. Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion. Man who love and loses, have not right lawyer. When lady say `no´ she mean `perhaps´ when she say `perhaps´ she mean `yes´ but when she say `yes´, she not a lady. Man who...

Tendjewberrymud The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review... Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees" Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service" RS...

The Chinese Rabbi A guy from Brooklyn was in Hong Kong passing through the native quarter, and was surprised to see a synagogue. He went in and sure enough, he saw a Chinese rabbi and a Chinese congregation. The service was touching. As the service ended, the rabbi stood at the door greeting...

Division Of Labor An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, 'You're in charge of sweeping.' To the Scotsman he says, 'You're in charge of shoveling.' And to the Chinese guy...

The One-Minute Chinese Vocabulary That's not right... Sum Ting Wong Are you harboring a fugitive?... Hu Yu Hai Ding? See me ASAP... Kum Hia Nao Stupid Man... Dum Gai Small Horse... Tai Ni Po Ni Did you go to the beach?... Wai Yu So Tan? I bumped into a coffee...

Contemporary Iraqi Banking An Iraqi goes to the bank to get his salary from a French Company. The Saudi manager of the bank asks him to sign on the back of the check. "That's humiliation," shouts the Iraqi, "why should the French sign on the front and I sign on the back. I'm not doing it...

More Punny Funs * Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under. * What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nacho Cheese. * I dropped out of my communism class because of lousy Marx. * Talking to her about computer hardware I make my mother board. * Be kind to your dentist...

Found This On The Web: How To Write A Joke 1. Consider your audience. A joke that fills the room with laughter at a hardware convention might not get the same reaction at a meeting of doctors. 2. When in doubt, keep it clean. Sure, plenty of people enjoy an ‘off-color’ wisecrack, but...

The Cost Of An Education On the first day of this rather conservative college, the Dean addressed the students: "The female dormitory is out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time...

For Frequent Air-Travelers http://www.animatronics.org/strangers/strangers.htm :) :) :)