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So much for the "let's let prisoners answer Santa's letters to the North Pole. That'll be a good use of their time, and save the PO money." "Ayyyyyye, Joey. Tell me what your ole Lady looks like in the shower."

Good news for trading? Hmmmmmmmmm. Your fax machine and email are a ready source for actionable ideas. They make me smile.

At the time that we look back and "long for a better time", remember, we knew how it turned out. Before it's too late, ask some of the folks who endured WWII what it was like. The people in the Pac Nw were scared to death the Japanese would invade, and they'd seen and heard what the Shogun...

MMMMMMMm which version do I believe? Instead of pissing away billions on pieces of shit nobody wants and of dubious quality, why not take a few billiion, hire some of the minds from Toyota and Honda? They've probably already made their life - nut, would look forward to the challenge, and...

.......know why Mexicans have noses? So they have something to pick in the winter.

Check out the newsflow and stock action. Notice, the options never came in. This is how they bury ostk. Options mm exemption. artc You're welcome

Maintain a positive self attitude all the time. Think, when you do anything, how you'll personally feel if it doesn't work out. I've taken profits just knowing how pissed I'd feel if the position went away from me. Then, I have a good afternoon and evening, and that's what I'm after...

Another Grouchoism that I've never been able to be 100% sure it was him was: My girlfriend wanted me to kiss her where it stinks. So I took her to Newark.

twas the nite before Christmas and all thru the house, not a creature was stirring cuz Grandpa was tight Some bourbon, some scotch, some vodka some tonic Then he saw Grandma and wanted to frolic He chased her she dodged, he dove and she scampered When his pants fell down, his...

I tired of all the pussy - footing (pun intended). I'm going to Rupert and just pitching him on my 24 hour channel, called. "Show Us Your Tits". It basically runs on fox, cnbc, etc now, but no pretense. "Tonight at Seven. The news is terrible. So, Bianca will show you her tits."...

From regrettheerror.com, their year's best news corrections..... The Independent, London: "Following the portrait of Tony and Cherie Blair published on 21 April in the Independent Saturday magazine, Ms Blair's representatives have told us that she was friendly with but never had a...

Citron Research, nee Stock Lemon, just bashed ARTC. Remember, they did in Bidz. I see it made SHO yesterday. They company doesn't stand a chance. Have at it. I guess no one cares.

See if you can find an old Disney "SwampFox". Leslie with brown hair, circa 1956. I was thinking about you, Don. That SAC trading model, you know the one with the female hormones to tame the "aggressiveness" of the trader? I'm working on a Prop model for you, so you can incorporate that...

. Darwin awards. All members of Joke thread......... 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the...

You're killing me here. Killing me.

You started it. New running shoe for Lesbians? Dikes. Two lesbians built their own house. No nails. All tongue-and-groove. Humpy. I'm stealling yours.

See the Genworth commercial, if you laugh you'll live eight years longer? Look at the ages of Berle, Marx, Marx, Marx, Hope, Benny Burns, Dangerfield. Just goes to show, if you're Jewish, you can cruise to 90. Anyway, Groucho talked about his vaudeville days. There was a hooker in the...

great Vaudeville stuff. When that joke was written it probably was "do you see what's going on in the Colonies?" If "Sugar Babies" every gets redone, go see it. a couple I remember from 25 years ago. Did you hear about the window washer who was late getting to the third floor. He got a...

Almost as wierd as this, Brittney Spears 16 year old sister is knocked up.... ok. Not wierd. Wierd is, her Mother's "Parenting" book was to be released.

Remember "Police Squad", where the Mr. Wizard Lab guy tells Little Bobby to "run along. Now, next week, we'll investigate why women can't play professional football".