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Little Billy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So Billyraised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked him to...

Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow? She can't touch it till she's fourteen.

As soon as I get this guy's address, I'm buying him the book and cd. People The award for the longest name for a person belongs to a German immigrant to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The name he was given at birth, and which somehow fit on his passport was: (First and "middle" names)...

You've always been a man, dressed in women's clothing, of integrity. How do you walk in those heels?:D

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these...

and you're correct to do so. However, these ain't shoes he's selling. Guy sells you a bad pair of shoes, you're feet hurt. Bring 'em back, or throw 'em away. Bad investment advice can kill you. And all the guy has a record is a blown up fund, a advice to short something you can't short...

"Those can do, do" "those that can't do, teach." "those that can't teach, teach teachers." Woody Allen Those that can trade, trade Those that can't trade, blow up Those that blow up, write books and look for people teach for bucks.. FT

Mishnik the moil had performed an adult circumcision. That evening, his hand started shaking uncontrollably, then, just as abruptly, stopped. Realizing that a seizure like that could ruin his livlihood, he called his local Allstate Agent. "Well,", said the broker, " it's rather...

Oldies that still make me laugh, .....like Mr. Glick, who at 82, went to the sperm bank to give something of himself back to society. The girl at the desk asked, "are you sure." "Yep, I'm sure", he said, and went to a room int he back for some privacy. He didn't return for an...

Madame of a Wall St. Escort service is explaning the market to a new hire. "Two kind of lays down here, Honey. You got your Standard, and Poor."

I warned you: Mrs. Eisenberg was beside herself. Her husband had left her, and her 32 yr old daughter Sally was unwed with no prospects. She decided to take action. "Sally", she said, " you should put an ad in the newspaper. No names, just a box number. Here, I wrote this:" Charming...

that one was Italian, and Anisette cookies, if I remember correctly.

You guys are in luck. I was moving my office and found two old Yiddish joke books. It's absolutely the best stuff in the world. Unfortunately, I gave many away to old Yiddish guys. I made them read the jokes to me in a dialect, and then I'd give them the books. But they were great. I...

What a great new thread. "Financial Shows We'd Like to See"..

Ok. You see "people who hadn't seen the joke yet. Homeland Security." a bit on being watched by Govt.. aw, never mind.

"Wolf Ticket " is black slang for talking shit. Brothers on the corner be sellin' wolf tickets. The Homeland Security was a 'throw away", just a inserted bit; it worked so well, I think I'll throw it away. How bout I name the accountant's dog "spreadsheet"? Man, you guys know how to...

At the PIPES conference in NYC today, Byrne played a tape representing a conversation with Dan colarusso NYPOST, Herb Greenberg, and Dave Kansas, teh Wall St. Journal. Colarusso is heard saying he " could crush Byrne and use the paper to do it."

I put this on the old thread, but maybe there's some new people, or Homeland Security, or somebody looking in.... Lawyer, Accountant and Homebuilder at the dog park with their animals selling wolf tickets (animal theme all through this one). Homebuilder says, "Watch AFrame here stack...

It's because you're an accountant. It's page six of the Comedy Book. "Accountants are not funny. Don't laugh or they'll think you're laughing at them, and they'll poke your eye out with a No. 2 pencil." I swear. It's in there. To think, those people were looking forward to going there...

I think the premium may be coming out of someof those puts... 08:05 OSTK Overstock.com beats by $0.19, beats on revs (29.65 )