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Morgan out + this morning.

That one's older than the wooden eye bit. But you know, that's the fun of them. They're just recycled for new listeners. Did you hear about the new chinese cookbook? 101 ways to WOK your dog! I wanted to get this up before Yannis saw it.

I just flipped to Fox out of boredom. How smart are these guys? They shoot Liz from the side. Again, and again. I need another set for Bloomberg sound, and Fox video.

A little Jewish Grandma is at the Florida coast with her little Grandson. The grandson is playing on the beach when a big wave comes and washes the kid out to sea. The lifeguards swim out, bring him back to shore, the paramedics work on him for a long time, pumping the water out, reviving him...

When I first started telling it, it was a CPO on a battle cruise in the Pacific. Yes, it's that old. Don't start, either.

A priest is sent to Alaska. A bishop goes up to visit one year later. The bishop asks, "How do you like it up here?" The priest says, "If it wasn't for my Rosary, and 2 martinis a day, I'd be lost. Bishop, would you like a martini?" "Yes." "Rosary, get the bishop a martini!"

"I knew a girl that was so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders."

Wall St. screwed itself by puttin' Joe Homeowner on the street. Up to now, the graft, I mean "donations" given to DC has kept them at bay. No more. Now, they start looking at Wall St., see all the other crap going on, the excrement hits the wind oscillator. It's going to be very, very...

You'll be telling that one tonight to your pals over bourbon, while your wife, arms folded, glares at you from across the room. It goes w/the one I put on the first thread, "....you wannem opened, dont you.??"

Cheezy R' Us:D Sailor 's been at sea six months, hits the dock in San Diego. Spots a hooker. Hit's on her. "Oh, Honey, " she says, "I'm on my period. But this is a wooden eye, and it comes out." "Man that's sick." ".....never had a complaint. and I'll go half price." "Ok, Ok...

They always tell chicks to hand with their ugly fat friends because it makes them look better. Having you here, Nutmeg, makes me look almost normal.:D

thanks. I needed that. Still laughing.

LOL Funny. You know, I heard this before, but you tell it so well.

probably posted this in the other thread, can't remember, anything, but that's another story. Now, where was I........ Oh yeah. Guy marries a girl who professes to be as pure as the driven snow. On their wedding nite, he comes out of the bathroom in all his glory. His Precious says...

The ass - kicking you take is inversely proportional to joke output. Q's down .83 to 53.83 $ trading at three cents, bid two.

I just booted up Forex. From now on, I want all my jokes in Euros. WTF???

You ever see Loren and Lollabridgeda???? Of course, they have to shave their moustaches, but hey......... "Loose and Messy". I used to hunt women like that. I'm not sure that 's an insult.

Did you keep the pantys???? The Panties???? What did you do with the panties???????

Why drinkin's bad....... With CMA awards coming up, this is best new song nominee. I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2

Um, did Grandma leave her robe open when you came over, because watching bugs fuck w/Grandma just ain't right. You know that , right???