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......guy outside of a Vegas casino, smelly, in rags..... "hey man. Can you part w/a fin so I can get sumptin to eat?" "brother, if I give you five bucks, you'll waltz right into that casino, and load the one armed bandits." "I got gamblin' money, I need something to eat!!!"

They should leave him alone. He'll be dead before he's fifty. That's punishment enough. His uniform size is up some 4 sizes, His shoe size, his fucking shoe size is up by some 3 sizes. But what really freaked me out what his hat size. He's gone up something like three hat sizes...

I had a customer, an elderly lady, who stuttered horribly. I drove down to see her, took my wife with me. We had lunch. She was so loveable, and talked and talked, and believe me, it took a lot of concentration to understand. At the end she thanked us profusely for letting her speak, paying...

Years ago at an EF Hutton office, we had a guy who stuttered. Any of you guys hanging around an office like that realize it's boyz town. The coffee service guys told us the local Sunoco station had a cleaner Coffee Station. Anyway, the guys name was Nick, and in the ultimate cruel joke, a...

And it's call "work". If it was "fun", they would have called it "fun".

Like a guy sez to me once - "You know, humor does not HAVE to be filthy to be funny." I responded, "are you fucking nuts???"

LOL. forgot that one.

They always were the more funner girls. Had to be Sally Kellerman in "Back to School". "How did such a degenerate become an Officer in the United States Army?" "He was drafted".

Who said you ain't got no class?

she butters aspirin. Doesn't high dive, just walks out on the board and lowers herself into the water. by the way, Chris Rock has a GREAT routine about rotund Black Women, who ain't stayin' home on Saturday night. I"ll try to find it for you but one of the great punch lines in it is...

Ayyyy, my first wife was so fat,.......... ayyyyy when she danced, the band skipped..... badabing. Ayyyye I'm killing me here.

Anybody remember Murray Langston, better known as "The Unknown Comic"?? Around ten years ago, I was in Las Vegas, and as a rated gambler, I could go anywhere Gratis. Lots of great shows, but I ended up in the sleazy Holiday Inn because Murray was there. We sat on those cheasy HI chairs, and...

10:32 BSC Bear Stearns: Follow-up on 10:26 and 10:29 WSJ headlines about fraud accusation (102.48 +1.61) -Update- WSJ reports Massachusetts securities regulators filed an complaint accusing Bear Stearns of fraud for allegedly improperly trading with two in-house hedge funds that collapsed...

Mr. Market likes humble. If you aren't humble, Mr. Market will grab you by the throat, twist your neck like Joe Homeowner tying off a garbage bag, then he'll grab a table lamp and smash it on the counter, making the edge very ragged. Then, he'll take that table lamp and,.......... well, you...

The Three Little Pigs - Italian Style Once upon a time there were three little pigs. The straw pig, the stick pig and the brick pig. One day this nasty old wolf came up to the straw pig's house and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." And he did !!! So the straw...

I remember on Krudlow where he savaged LizAnne Sonders, who defended herself rather well pointing out her time horizon vs his (short term) at the time. The guy is a bully who bullshits his way thru most all. The sad part is, he has much in the way of Street smarts that could benefit . I'm...

........and worth every penny!!!

I'd check that 0% if I were you. That's like going to a party and saying you dind't hit the punch bowl. I've heard they got a little tipsy.

Unless they have an outside insurance policy, SIPC is 100 cash. Trying to stay around and collect is tandamount to hitting a telephone pole to see how your car insurance performs.

now that right there is funny. If you don't think that's funny - well, there's always Politics and Religion. Great one.