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OUCH!!! Q: What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed-wire fence? A: An "udder" disaster! :) :) :)

Is This Right? :) :) :)

Don - any feedback yet?

Best Exercise Program A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 pounds due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM. "Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself. But...

Don, Thanks for your quick response - I understand. Do you know of any tool (eg, TradeBolt?) that would allow me to take signals from my TS-based system and place them onto your trading platform in real time? The reason that I am asking is that I have several systems developed on...

Is there a prop trading firm that would allow traders to keep trading remotely and through their favorite broker (I currently use TradeStation and IB) and platform, while, at the same time, make capital available to them? I wonder if that is done and how does it work. A monthly fee would...

Today's Sex Education John and Marsha decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8-year-old son, Billy, in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities. Billy began his...

Corporate Life #24 - The Real Math From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this: What Makes 100% of effort dedicated to our career? What does it mean to give MORE than 100% to our employer? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100% at the office...

I'm Choking On A Kalamata Olive, Not Your Everyday Olive (from The Onion) Oh, my. This is superb. Superb, indeed. My Greek grocer Kostas told me he had a surprise for me, and he certainly did: These are quite simply the finest kalamata olives I've ever tasted. Absolutely delightful...

The Last Straw There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck...

Another French-American Debacle An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation. Frenchman: "You American folk...

Physical Therapy Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around...

Corporate Life #23 A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen, Joe," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night...

T: Am I giving blondes a bad name too? :) :) :)

Blonde Alligator Shoes A young blonde was on vacation and driving through the everglades. She wanted to take home a pair of alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices...

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us...

Corporate Life #22: Five Important Lessons #1. A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she...

Friendship Friendship among Women: A woman doesn't come home one night. The next day she tells her husband she slept over at a friend's house. The man calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it. Friendship among Men: A man doesn't come home one night. The next...

International Symbol Of Marriage Is Approved New York-AP- On April 21, 2005, After 5 years of heated debate, the UN Commission of Human Rights approved the new International Symbol of Marriage: :) :) :)

A Little Bit Of Word Mongering A day without sunshine is like . . . Night. On the other hand, you have different fingers. I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad...