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That's really funny - and factually correct - congrats Bsulli, you got a very good one!! :) :) :)

Bad Lighbulbs, Cats And Dogs 1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? 2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. 3. Dachshund: You know...

HOSPITALITY TEXAS STYLE Dallas: "Tower to Saudi Air 091101 - You are cleared to land southbound on runway 180R." Saudi Air: "Dallas ATC, 091101 cleared to 180R. Allah be Praised!" Dallas: "Tower to Iran Air 091103 - You are cleared to land northbound on runway 360L." Iran Air...

Lucky Fish Mary: "Don't tell me you believe your husband's story that he spent the day fishing. Why, he didn't come home with a single fish!" Jane: "That's exactly why I believe him..." :) :) :)

Best Thread Ever We made it to 500 Pages! dgabriel, you are a genius!! Cheers everyone... lets go to 1,000!!! :) :) :)

Speaking Of Burials And Tombstones... :) :) :)

I don't know about broccolis, carots and mushrooms eating and drinking... It just seems to me that (to stay in the plants family) you guys are nuts! :) :) :)

Q&A Driving Instructor: What would you do if you were going up an icy hill and the motor stalled and brakes failed? Student: ...I guess, I'd quickly adjust the rearview mirror... :) :) :)

Clueless Boss: You should have been here at 9.30 am!! Employee: Why... what happened? :) :) :)

Retirement In Florida A little old lady was sitting on a park bench, near her home. A man walked over and sat down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?" He replies, "I lived here years ago." "So, where were you all these...

Wisdom of Confusius "Man who run behind car get exhausted...man who run in front of car get tired!" :) :) :)

Not from me... sorry :)

A Question Of Ownership Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs "give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "you can't do this – I am a United States congressman!" "In that case,"...

Hmmm... I don't know. Remember, there were many witnesses! Plus, these guys are trained at extracting money rather than keeping it for themselves...:)

Special Skills A young man walks into a market holding a silver dollar. Suddenly, he starts choking, going blue in the face and falls down on the floor, while the people around him start panicking, shouting for help. A well dressed, attractive, but serious looking woman in a blue business...

Clear Communication (?) Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they...

Lost Puppy :) :) :)

You got to love those kids! A couple, desperate to conceive a child, went to their priest and asked him to pray for them. "I'm going on a sabbatical to Rome," he replied, "and while I'm there, I'll light a candle for you." When the priest returned three years later, he went to the couple's...

It's On the Tip of My Tongue Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization...

Ed Ed was in BIG trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. "Tomorrow," his wife angrily told him, "there had better be something in our driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in two seconds flat!" The next morning she looked outside and saw a small package in the driveway. She brought it...