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Smart Word Plays Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. The 2005 winners are: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying (or...

Corporate Life #35 One CEO always scheduled staff meetings for 4:30 on Friday afternoons. One of the VPs finally got up the nerve to ask why, and the CEO explained, “I’ll tell you its very simple – it’s the only time of the week when none of you seems to want to argue with me...”...

Fishing In The Park Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines, and reeled in their catch. A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the...

Some Good Quotes Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. (Albert Einstein) The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not...

Excellent, Realistic Marketing! The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain. When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and there is a scent...

Tough Bargaining A Scotsman phones a dentist to inquire about the cost for a tooth extraction. "$85 for an extraction, sir" the dentist replied. "$85! Huv ye no' got anythin' cheaper?" "That's the normal charge," said the dentist. "Whit aboot if ye didnae use any anesthetic?"...

The Talking Clock A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet. "What's that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked. "It's not a gong. It's a talking...

That Corporate Attitude A corporate VP lost his job. After a long search, having found nothing to his liking, was forced to apply for a job as a prison guard. At his interview, the warden said, “Now these are real tough guys in here.” Are you sure that you can handle it?” “No...

Golf Skills Test For those who have lots of time on their hands (eg, between trades.) http://www.cincinnati.com/golf/golfquiz/html/brand.htm :) :) :)

That's a good one!! :) :) :)

Yes, It's Another Blonde Joke A man entered the clubhouse at the golf course with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's...

Corporate Life #32 Sign on company bulletin board: “This firm requires no physical-fitness program. Everyone gets enough exercise jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, running down their boss, flogging dead horses, knifing friends in the back, dodging responsibility, and pushing...

Business In Iraq A fleeing al Qaeda guerilla, desperate for water, was plodding through the Iraqi desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked toward the object, only to find a little old man at a small stand selling neckties. The guerilla asked, "Do...

Making A Point When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, fishing, always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to...

Matter Of Perspective A man taking a woman home after their first date asks if he can come inside of a cup of coffee. “Oh, no,” she says, “I never ask a guy in on the first date.” “Okay,” the man replies, “how about the last date?” :) :) :)

Something Cute From The Old Country - Enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrShK-NVMIU :) :) :)

You don't understand: the figures in front are the &&^^%%$$ liberals and he's gradually moving them out of center stage of the American political system. :) :) :)

It's An MS Universe Q: How many Microsoft Engineers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. They just change the standard to DARK. :) :) :)

Question Is marriage nature’s way of keeping people from fighting with strangers? :) :) :)

Great Combination A man graduated from veterinary school then took a course in taxidermy. He now has a sign in his Doctor's office that reads, "Veterinarian & Taxidermist - Either way you get your pet back!" :) :) :)