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Old, But Priceless A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he received over a thousand letters. In one way or another, they all said the same thing: "You can have mine, please!" :) :) :)

Latest California Poll The latest poll taken by the Governor of California yielded results on whether or not people who live in California think illegal immigration is a serious problem: a) 41% of the respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem." b) 59% of the respondents...

Brother Ralph With a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary at the church's marriage marathon, the minister asked Brother Ralph to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to live with the same woman all these years. The husband replied to the audience, "Well, I...

George Carlin's New Rules for 2007 New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days . . mowing my...

Maxine On Market Analysis Newsletters Well, not exactly, but it fits, right? :) :) :)

Finally, A Good Explanation!! :) :) :)

Kind Of Funny http://www.iht.com/articles/2006/12/12/yourmoney/manatee.php :) :) :)

Has Vice President Cheney said anything similar about his shooting? :) :) :)

Former President Gerald R Ford: "I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators." :) :) :)

THE PERFECT CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT IN 2008!! Here we are already discussing the future President of the United States in the Year 2008. For those of you who would like a choice for President, we have a solution: It is probably time we have a woman as President. One choice is a very...

Short and Funny I dialed a number and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are probably one of the changes." At...

Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged 1) Schizophrenia---- Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices? 2) Amnesia-- I Don't Remember If I'll be Home for Christmas 3) Narcissistic-- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me 4) Manic-- Deck The Halls And Walls...

Poor Lonely Man A middle-age widower sent his picture to the Lonely Hearts Club. The reply came back almost immediately: “We are not THAT lonely!!” :) :) :)

Corporate Life #41 A traveling salesman was held up in the South by endless rainstorms and resulting floods. He e-mails his office in NY: “Pinned down by storm system, it will last for a couple of weeks. Send instructions immediately!” His boss e-mails back: “You are on vacation, have...

Corporate Life #40: Best Ever Letter Of Resignation Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers,USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards! Dear Mr. Baker, As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic...

Efharisto, hoodooman, para poli! :)

And, Speaking Of Sex, Again I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." --Tom Clancy "You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither." --Steve Martin "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good...

Divorce, Greek Style The Greek-American father calls his son a couple of days before Christmas and says sadly, "Niko, my son, I hate to ruin your day, but I must tell you that your mother and I are divorcing - forty-five years of misery is enough." "My Baba, what are you talking about?"...

Then and Now *Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack. 1963 Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack. 2006 School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun...

The Wonderful Family In a small town in the Old Country, the Rabbi died. His widow, the Rebbetzin, was so disconsolate that the people of the town decided that she ought to get married again. But the town was so small that the only eligible bachelor was the town butcher. The poor...