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Jokes
Corporate Life #43 A young, ambitious executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder, looking somewhat puzzled, with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my... -
Jokes
More On Golf Two men were out golfing. As one was ready to take his shot, a funeral procession drove by the golf course. The man stopped what he was doing for a moment, put down his club, and took off his hat and placed it over his heart. His partner was moved by this and said, "Bravo... -
Jokes
His Last Words Her husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got... -
Jokes
Life Is A Circus In a circus stunt, a lady and a lion were kissing each other inside a cage. The ring master proudly challenged the audience: "Isn't that great? Can anyone else do it?" A guy from the back row slowly answered "I can, no problem, but first take the stupid lion out!" :) :) :) -
Jokes
Let Him Earn... A pickpocket was pronounced guilty and sentenced to 8 months jail term with an option of $200 fine by the judge. His defense lawyer knowing that his client could not pay the fine, pleaded with the judge asking; âYour honor, my client can only afford $50, but if you allow him... -
Jokes
Good point. Truth is, after all these years, and despite my profitable trading system, I haven't managed to make a dime for myself from this business. Not that I lose money either, but... Let me explain - I am sure that those of you who have been married to your beloved old sweetheart... -
Jokes
Strange Phonecall I was debating whether I should post this here or in one of the the Systems-Trading-Related Forums, but at the end (yes, it was a long, 3-second agonizing process) I decided that it is more funny than informative... The phone just rang and a polite young man on the line... -
Jokes
Effective Communication Tips A man goes on a 2-month business trip to Europe and leaves his cat with his brother. Three days before his return he calls his brother. Brother 1: So how is my cat doing? Brother 2: He's Dead. Brother 1: He's Dead! What do you mean He's Dead! I loved that cat... -
Jokes
New Irish Priest In Texas Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He... -
Jokes
True Story On July 20, 1969, as commander of the Apollo 11 lunar module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon. His first words after stepping on the moon, "that's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," were televised to earth and heard by millions... -
Jokes
The Mexican Delicacy A big Texan cowboy stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the... -
Jokes
From The Secret Archives Of Harvard U The Linguistics Professor at his inaugural lecture: "...In some languages, like Russian, if you combine two negatives, you can produce a stronger negative. In most languages, however, two negatives produce a positive. Notice that there is no language... -
Jokes
Another Good Oldie A rich millionaire throws a massive party for his 50th birthday. During this party, he grabs the microphone and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. "I will give anything of mine to the man... -
Jokes
HEALTH ISSUES EXPLAINED (Research done a few years ago by the AARP Legal Department) Q . What does HMO stand for? A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to... -
Jokes
Birth, Kentucky Style In the back woods of Kentucky, Bubba's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to be a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see... -
Jokes
INTERESTING STATISTIC... OR WHAT!! Regardless of where you stand on the issue of the U.S. involvement in Iraq, here's a sobering statistic: There has been a monthly average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theatre of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2,112 deaths. That...