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In my case I never expected to live past 52 becaue of family coronary history. I must have eaten more heart-healthy pussy than my forbears did, so here I am. That and practicing a rigorous program of prostate health by getting off once a day whether I needed it or not. Strangely, before my...

A woman sees a funerary procession winding its way slowly to the cemetary. The hearse is driving at a leisurely walking pace. Behind it is the bereaved widow in black, walking a dog. Behind her follow solemnly a queue of twenty or more women. Intrigued, the woman bystander asks the widow as they...

A very real concern. My stuff is based on what I believe to be immutable elements of the market, but you never know. That is why I reoptimize all 21 of my systems weekly. Over the past year they have migrated a bit, but always with acceptable profitability. So you can understand that one of my...

A pity, DB, that your inability to trade has made you cynical about other peoples' abilities. Otherwise you might be open to learning something. How much money per contract did YOU make today?

Yup. First wife took half of the nothing I had at the time. I chose more wisely the second time around. She has more money than me.

Let me assure you that there is still room for good old-fashioned inductive reasoning in market price action modelling. Ain't no fucking computer can do that yet.

Hard-of-hearing little old man in the nursing home finally gets his hands on the little old woman. He fumbles her blouse off, struggles to get the bra off, only to see them droop flacidly all the way to her waist. She warns in a high pitched raspy squeaky voice "I think it's only fair to warn...

You know the two words every straight man fears to hear while standing at the urinal? "Niiiiiice dick!"

Who could have expected such sound marital advice on ET? Well spoke. But I do resent your crack about me being a decrepit old wreck. That really hurt. My only retort is that methinks you came by your advice the hard expensive way.

I failed to mention that the wife is no virgin. She has been position trading startup pharma and med equipment stocks for two decades.

Old man leans over to wife in church and whispers "I just cut a silent fart. What should I do?" Wife replies smugly, "Replace your hearing aid battery!"

My wife watches me trade the open every day. And at the close she sees the results. What she hates is the apparently random nature of those results.

Poor Southern farm boy comes to town desperate to get laid. He goes to the town's whorehouse. Turns out he can't afford what he wants. Go see Granny down the road, they suggest, she's cheap. He goes to Granny. She has a glass eye she removes for him to use the orifice underneath. Satisfied, the...

My crippled old ass is connected to nimble talented fingers that she would find exceedingly difficult to replace.

Because it is cash only long enough to buy more stocks, ETFs or royalty trusts. It all stays in the brokerage accounts. I live off of retirement and social security.

How much money for how many years did a med or law stoont lose until he was perfitable?

Well, there is second-guessing and there is knowing that some types of price action are extremely subtle and difficult to capture in an algorithm. I typically make more money than my system says I should. But I DO feel guilty about it.

I got my first blowjob from my grandmother. I kind of miss her. She had no teeth.

You telling me your blinged looker wife couldn't: maintain redundant fast internet links? install, upgrade and use security software? upgrade the trading computer every two years, reinstall all the programs and transfer all the files? learn the broker software and how to upgrade it...

In all seriousness. I could die in the next 30 years or the next 30 seconds. I want my wife to benefit from what I have achieved. IMO a robust trading system is a family legacy. If you are a rigorous systematic trader, you know the intellectual horsepower that goes into discovering and...