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Thanks. I don't get around much any more. You know, the oxygen bottle. The scooter. Can't get over two rooms away from a toilet. YOU most ingraciously declined to be interviewed, YOU who profess such generosity toward ET, so YOU (and ALL of YOU, ET) will get what you deserve.

The Romans plagiarized Hippocrates and transditterated: "Ars longa. Vita brevis." The apposite is true on ET. Trash endures. Handles vanish. There was once on these pages a great pileosopher, Arthur Deco by alias, who interviewed then pervament ET imposters. They were cogent. They were...

My goodness! What is with the Psych forum that it can't tolerate a little fowl language? Some of most eloquent and profound posts are also filthy. Bias against those mentally and socially challenged by Tourette's! Not to mention MPD! Do I have to post a trade or a chart to be able to express...

Brilliant! (as the English say so ambuguously). I would buy that service for myself! Can we add a feature that changes me from a one-car-piker to a Mr. Big? You know, like the guys who claim they trade the peaks and troughs in size, but you never see them on the tape?

Thank you. I do what I can to give back to the community from which I learned to be such a great trader. And I appreciate your system development suggestion, but I am not quite grasping the concept. When you say Peter Pan and Away-With-The-Faeries, what New Trading Psychology emotion are you...

My thread is doomed! Immoderation intrudes! Before I am consigned to Gehenna, let me thank minus9 for his inspiration of the two new systems we developed the past two days: Boredom and Anti-Bruit. We could not have done it without a straight man. But we should have discovered these systems...

To close out the week, let me state our firm's trading strategy simply: we strive at all times to know when nothing is not happening, and when something is about to not happen.

Here is an example of how unscrupulous internet trading gurus hoodwink the unsuspecting uncritical credulous needy newby. At 12:14 CT PissBreak said it was time to take a leak and Boredom set in. Followed by four bars of Anti-Bruit and ending in two bars of Overconfidence. The sheerest meerest...

An excellent suggestion. I will contact Rahula Gautama at our Mumbai desk and get back to you.

My associates and I spend time you wouldn't believe trolling for intelligence here. Mostly by dangling stupidity bait. I cannot recall how long it has been since we learnt anything new here. But yesterday we bingoed. Out of foolishness and levity was a great idea born. F9 suggested I position...

Re-reading the thread vainly trying to understand where I am going with this, I noted that I failed to explain the second pane down in the immediately preceding post. It is a little gem Doaks invented for me on spec two days ago and has been testing with real money. He calls it Monkey-Annotated...

At 7:56 PT on the attachment you will see an absolutely random confluence of the Overconfidence signal (brown spot in top pane) and the Bruit signal (low spot in the bottom pane). The perceptively astute monkeys who recognized and scalped that will live to see Monday. Skeptics who draw a...

Actually we have a complex hedging strategy in two related contracts. We long live monkeys and short slaughtered ones. We are the ax in the market, and we also have an equity position in the Asian butcher who runs the electronic futures exchange. All-in-all, a win-win proposition all around...

As you might surmise, this process of unnatural selection leaves us with a core cadre of pretty smart monkeys. They get the bottom pane in the attachment added to their charts.

Those of you who manage human traders might be interested in our office trading policy. Every morning we load up each monkey's trading screen with three buy/sell pairs. If a monkey's first trade is a winner, we give him another buy/sell pair. If it's a loser, we don't replace it. If a monkey...

And your ontological eschatological conclusion is?

So we can safely conclude that the New Trader is a social animal, motivated by cheer not fear, and who has sublimed greed into need. By following he thinks he leads. And he mistakes his guru's needs for generosity. My firm is busily at work developing new systems to test his credulity.

Attached is another carefully selected example of the effucacy of PissBreak. The attachment also introduces a new system, Overconfidence (top pane), based on Justin Mamis' fabulous fabled fabricious classic, "The Nature of Risk".

"Thou shalt put no other gods before me." Tomorrow I will start an ES real-time calls thread in Journals that years from now I can use as proof of my manly prowess.

Ah, yes. Now all will believe and recant their doubts. I am the new Guru. But don't ask me for an execution report, infidel.