Search results

Heaviest element A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium." Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving...

Dear IRS, Enclosed is my tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes. Please note the attached article from USA Today, wherein you will see the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat. I am enclosing four toilet seats (value $2400) and...

"Starting" ? :D

Excellent!

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out...

The Cost Of Gas I went into the 7-11 gas station and asked for five dollars worth of gas. The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.

The only thing missing is a little snowplow along the top like we were treated to on Fox NFL over the weekend. Oh and guys? Don't place your silly CNBC bug over the already hard-to-read ticker. Un freakinbelievable.

:D:D ROFL :D:D

If you made money off the move, it'll be busted. If you lost, the trade will stand. Them's the rules.

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully, she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone." Immediately the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist, and demand an apology. Before he could say more then a...

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot to get a Christmas present for his wife. His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat". The Next day, on Christmas morning, the wife found a small package in the driveway...

http://www.elitetrader.com/favicon.ico save that to a folder on your hard drive and set it under the quicklaunch's properties tab FYI - Many websites use a favicon

Looks like Baron just reclaimed a few gigs of hard drive space :D

You've got my vote.

FOREIGN EXCHANGE I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank. I chose the shortest line, just one guy in front of me. He was an Asian guy who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and he was a little agitated...

Two cowboys are talking over a beer, discussing various sex positions. The first cowboy says his favorite position is the "rodeo". The other cowboy asks what that position is, and how to do it ? The first cowboy says, "You tell your wife to get on the bed on all fours and then do it...

Quotetracker is very good too. Can't beat the price and Jerry Medved's customer service is tops.

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden he smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to...

Anyone who thinks old age is golden must not have had a very exciting youth. How comes it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night? Scratch a dog and you'll have a permanent job. There are no new...

1.Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. 2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I’m...