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loads of jobs for idiots ? Try this one - One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zookeeper explains to the mime that...

A lobbyist on his way home from Congress is stuck in traffic. Noticing a police officer, he winds down his window and asks: 'What's the hold-up?' The policeman replies: 'The Fed Chairman is so depressed he's stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set himself on...

Nice looking curve from spline fit dtrader98 Care to share the formula here ? (preferably for Metastock )

Think positive There's always hope Remember "The Rainman" ? Somewhere someplace there is the very place for you and your, as yet, undiscovered talent to give you satisfaction in life

3 doctors are sitting bragging in a bar about their ability to save lives. One says: 'we got a patient who had had his arm chopped off on a building site. We re-attached his arm, and the operation was so successful that he was back at work in 6 months, and he was so efficient that he put two...

From: Jane Gilles Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm To: David Thorne Subject: Overdue account Dear David, Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been...

The great pluses of financial trading are imho :- 1. Own boss 2. work any hours you like 3. work from home 4. make loads of money if you are any good at it the problem is if you are an idiot and/or can't make loads of money simple really, find someone who can and does and if you play...

Big mistake chasing after money ! The great artists etc enjoyed painting etc. and the fame and recognition from others that came later were almost immaterial. Did Picasso think his pictures were going to be sold for millions ? Not initially - he enjoyed what he did and so should you Too...

Are you saying the kids will turn out like their parents ? Perhaps with a bit of stick and carrot they could do a bit better or to put it another way - not so badly ?

Are YOU bored on a Sunday afternoon ? OK so try interacting with the world outside ! Here ( since this is the joke section ) is something to try 1. Pick a quiet street where someone comes along every 5 minutes or so 2. Have a selection of coins, some bright some less so 3. Invite a...

Would it have made any difference in the huge fraud cases recently if there was collective responsibility from family members ? I would say yes. The likelyhood of a family member blowing the whistle would be much more likely. That would get them off the hook. The other members of the...

etc. you forgot General Parts and his son Private Parts lol

God was tired and worn out. So he spoke to St. Peter. “You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions where I should go?” St. Peter, thinking, nodded his head, then said, “How about Jupiter? It’s nice and warm there this time of the year.” God shook His head before saying...

In Japan he would have been forced to apologise humbly then killed himself In the USA my bet says he will get a few unkind words and be laughing all the way to the bank

They dont call him TOP HOG for nothing They should get the people that appointed these useless greedy idiots and find out why ?? Maybe try asking awkward questions like what did they get out of the appointment ?? and who appointed them and if they pretend not to...

The new admin just might get tougher with the Israelis and force them to adhere to UN resolutions or be dumped. An ailing USA can't afford such "allies" any more, they have been a a dead weight on the US and The West since WW2. Strangely they don't seem particularly bothered and go on building...

Occasionally one comes across a joke well worth passing on. This is one of those :- The Title sounds like an ad from a top shelf magazine ...thats because it is....LOL This is supposedly a real letter. TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE Dear Mr...

That's right on click. Talking of firewalls they said they get around spam filters by taking chunks out of Google so that it looks like ordinary emails with different senders and titles.

Apparently his hot shot lawyers are appealing for him to be let out until sentencing in June - can we stand the suspence, I wonder ? maybe the beds in the jail aren't comfy enough

Just seen an interesting programme on telly where the BBC paid a website $3,000 and for that got control of 26,000 computers located in over 50 countries. A very sophisticated front end will give options on the use or misuse of all these privately owned machines from spamming so much to one...