Search results

Friendly Parrot A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that read $50.00. "Why so little," she asked the pet store owner. The owner said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of...

Timing and Choices Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good...

Religious Differences A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction. "Hello," said the little boy. "Hi," replied the little girl. "Where are you going?" asked the...

Subject: Little Davie Said > A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She > started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, > stand up!" > After a few seconds, Little Davie stood up. The teacher said, "Do > you think you're stupid, Little...

Lesson One: An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared...

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything...

Generous Husband. . . . The wife comes home early & finds her husband in their master bedroom making love to a beautiful, sexy young lady! "You unfaithful, disrespectful pig! What are you doing? How dare you do this to me the faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving this...

Halloween and Cinderella In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett...

Subject: Marriage in Heaven On their way to the local parish church to get married, a young Catholic couple are involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to...

Quantas complaints procedure - Very amusing Remember: it takes a college degree to fly a plane , but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in their jobs. After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet, which tells...

"If not for whiskey, the Irish would rule the world. . . ." Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money; between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came...

Subject: France "We turn to France whose decision to stay out of the Iraq war is starting to make more sense. After all, why go all the way to the Mideast when you can fight Muslims in your very own suburbs?" ...Jon Stewart "Night after night of rioting and looting and burning cars, but...

ICE FISHING - BLONDE STYLE A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a...

CREATION'S FLAW First the Lord made man in the Garden of Eden. Then he said to himself, "There's something he's needing." After casting about for a suitable pearl, He kept messing around and created a girl. Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender, Round, slim, and firm, and...

BIRD FLU The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention in Atlanta has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately: 1. High fever 2. Congestion 3. Nausea 4. Fatigue 5. Aching in the joints...

Do Anything but do ME now! I checked into a hotel on a business trip recently and was a bit lonely so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in the phone books under "Escorts and Massages". I opened the phone book to an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely...

P.C. for Halloween Costume? A bald man with a wooden leg got invited to a Halloween party. He didn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, so he wrote to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later, he received a parcel with the following note: "Dear...

Just for YOU Bubbles - A Fairy Tale: Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as! long as he could answer a very difficult...

Death and Irish An Irishman named O'Malley went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor sighed and looked O'Malley in the eye and said, "I've some bad news for you. You have cancer, and it can't be cured. You'd best put your affairs in order." O'Malley was shocked.... but...

Dating Diversity - NOT for the Politically Correct: DATING RITUALS WHITE WOMEN First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position. IRISH WOMEN First Date: You both...