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Farming Issues? A South Dakota farmer got in his pickup, drove to a neighboring farm, and knocked at the farmhouse door. A young boy of about 12 opened the door. "Is your dad home?" the farmer asked. "No sir, he ain't," the boy replied. "He went into town." "Well," said the...

And that's why all are dogs are smaller than me, in every way!! (Thanks Flytiger)

Flytiger - problem is, once Mommy tries Grizzly she may want nothing else but that ever again. . . .

Sorry excuse for a raccoon-huntin' beagle. . . .

The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. Last years winners: 1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how...

Talking Dog? A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice...

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........ My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat. Sorry! Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it...

Money won't grow on trees but these will??!! Women will have a bounty on our heads. . . .

This may help "post-divorce". . . .

For all our Corporate Types: Christmas Party Announcement FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: November 10, 2006 RE: Christmas Party I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 20, starting at...

For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity. 1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have...

"tradgedee!!!" Jesse Jackson, while visiting a primary school class, found himself in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the Rev. Jackson if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy." So the illustrious leader asks the...

Subject: The picture on the night stand After a long night of passionate lovemaking, he notices a photo of another man on her nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks. "No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend...

Why Rednecks Can't Be Paramedics A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of them grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the...

Political Correctness: "A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."...

Great Golf Story: A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them. She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf...

This is from a contest on Long Island. The requirements were to use the words Lewinski and Kaczynski in a limerick. Here are the 3 winners: Entry #1 There once was a gal named Lewinsky Who played on a flute like Stravinsky ‘Twas “Hail to the Chief” On this flute made of...

Subject: Damn checking account An old man walks into a bank and says to the woman at the window, "I want to open a damn checking account." The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon,sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up, damn it. I said I want...

Maybe I will stay active in retirement someday. . . . Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired, and Mrs. Fenton insists her husband go with her to Walmart, but he gets bored with all the shopping trips. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent...

This accident happened in the Dallas-Ft. Worth area and you gotta listen to it. It is a phone call from a man who witnesses a car accident involving four elderly women. It was so popular when they played it on CHUM FM that they had to put it on their website. The guy's laugh is...