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Fool me once, four hour erection. Fool me twice, my power-point presentation gets rescheduled.

I went for a job at a building site. The foreman asks me 2 questions "can you make coffee? And can you drive a dumper truck??" I asked him "why, how big is the coffee pot??

I went for a job interview. ''Where would you like to see yourself in five years time?'' he asks me. I thought and said ''Suspended with full pay''

estimated that the rules would go into effect in 2013, lmao. If there are any banks left. Uhmmm, First bank of Goldman and let's see, oh yea, National bank of Obama.

A bankruptcy-court examiner found in a recent report that Lehman could pursue a legal claim against J.P. Morgan for making "excessive collateral requests," I like that. What is an "excessive collateral requests," ????? Uhmnnn. say we go from 40 -1 down to 20 -1 think that's excessive? Oh...

Lehman passed the stress test.:cool:

The only men who really understand women are Ben and Jerry.

I beg to differ, we are allowed and it is prudent to have a military budget and a healthcare budget. If you cut the military budget by no means equals an increase in health care. Real life doesn't work that way. If you personally have a "budget" for your auto and you pay it off does this mean...

“The obesity rate in the United States has increased at an alarming rate over the past three decades." --------------------- In the last 30 years ya think obeseity has increased because we have more food or poorer qualtiy/ high caloric meals? We probably have a larger population of...

The main point here is not the dire state of the economy but the success of the program. :cool:

"Be fearful when others are greedy and greedy when others are fearful". --Warren Buffett, Oct 2008 on buying US stocks for his personal portfolio in the Oct. 2008 stock market environment. ================================ "Be fearful when others are greedy" This one is easy, and refers...

5/25/10 Just passed the 13 trillion dollar debt mark. "I knew something felt different today." ---------------------- had to laugh at that post.:D

Jamaican drug gangs in gun battles with police and over thirty dead. Apparently it's just as bad in Jamaica.

What do you call a Paki Elvis impersonator? Amal Shukup.

Only if the recruiter says "I see where you're coming from".

Frankly, I'd wait till Obama makes the call to Mad Money and asks about buy and hold. If Cramer responds " profit and earning ratios are starting to get to the point where buying stocks are a potentially good deal if you've got a long-term perspective on it." Then we got a lock.

It's such a nice day that I'm off to the beach. I've got my swim suit, shades and beach towel, but I think I'll leave the old wind-breaker at home. That way she'll have dinner ready for me when I get back.

A man walks by a bar that has a sign in its window: PIANO PLAYER WANTED. He grabs the sign, walks in the bar and says to the manager, "I play the piano. I'd like to have the piano player's job." The manager says, "Well let's hear you play first." The man sits down and plays the most beautiful...

The applause was pretty good with gloves on. Ya think it's real?

I don't know if this is on or off but the annoying part is it is on the table, maybe to test the reaction. Congress talks in billions and now trillions and we have to deal with reporting 10k cash transactions and maybe $600 transaction, pennies in the scheme of things yet somehow this is...