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Goliath?

It’s quite good for blocked ears apparently.

Something about muzzling wild foxes I think? She must be a pro-muzzle environmentalist… all probably related to preventing the spread of COVID.

Who you gonna call?

Interesting. Presumably your heart is even colder than your blood, so that your cold blood has a warming effect? Or perhaps something else, for example you use your blood (cold as it is) to fuel some sort of specialised heart heating device. Please can you post more details.

tbf most politicians piss all over the electorate, perhaps he's just more literally minded.

Just so long as they didn't cross the streams while apprehending him...

Of course I do not condone burglary, but the costume is an act of genius.

The real question is, where can I buy this outfit? And then how do I achieve that mildly demented expression?

I believe we only exist in a fiendishly complex simulation running on someone’s smart phone. The biggest threat to our existence is that they get bored studying us and decide to go and watch some vacuous “influencers” on social media instead. I have a feeling (don’t quite have any proof yet)...

But not as quickly as the aliens with their sophisticated technology and multiple swivelling eyes (possibly).

If there was a god with no arms, or even just short arms, then it might not be able to tie its own shoelaces so you may be able to offer help there. Of course being a god possibly the feet and therefore shoes and therefore laces would be massive and unimaginably heavy so then again perhaps not...

I feel sorry for people who happen to be called Karen but aren’t an actual “Karen”. It’s an odd world really.

My fave bit of tennis is when a ball boy/girl or line judge is hit by the ball. Whether they’re specifically targeted I don’t know, but entertainment value is high.

The roaches probably ended up in a crunchy sandwich, made with artisan bread and served with a delicious coconut milk cappuccino. Mouth watering.

One thing I will say is that no-one seems to care about the camels and their backs. God knows how many of the humpsters have shattered or deformed spines, but the media remains quiet on the matter while Bactrians and Dromedaries everywhere suffer.

I used to eat a shed load of tuna. Then I began to read various reports stating that it was basically full of mercury and plastic and actually pretty unhealthy, so at that point I switched to eating chickpeas. They may seem like an unlikely substitute but it worked out well and now I find them...

I'm thinking you don't mean that literally? Because a lot of Indians are dying and although you may disagree with some of the politics you probably don't want a load of innocent people (of whatever nationality) to actually die, right?

Just so I understand, are you claiming Hungary isn’t a province of Russia?

The idea of polytheism is quite fun, just pick the most appropriate god to worship based on the outcome you want. E.g. got a rusty, squeaky hinge? Best light a candle for Carda, Roman god of hinges. Door not closing properly? Time to pray to Janus, god of doors. All very practical. Whether any...