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Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared...

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy-efficient kinds. But this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year ago and I had yet to pay for them. Boy oh boy, did we go around! Just...

George was fixing the front door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Louise to the hardware store to buy one. At the hardware store Louise saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Henry, the manager, to finish waiting on another customer...

Fifteen days ago, I read that smoking can kill you; The next day I stopped smoking. Twelve days ago, I read that too much red meat can kill you. The next day I stopped eating red meat.. Eight days ago, I read that drinking can kill you. The next day I stopped drinking. Yesterday, I...

Clerical error I'll bet. Here come the busted trades . . .

A new wine for seniors California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produces Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to...

POLISH DIVORCE A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him - "very quick." The lawyer said that the...

Let's just hope the knee-jerk reaction isn't to eliminate short-selling as a means to thwart terrorists making profits.

A man planning to have a tryst with his lover calls his wife at home. ‘Honey, I need you to get my tackle box and an overnite bag ready, and leave them in the hall for me. When I get home tonite, I am heading out on a little fishing trip with the guys. Oh, and can you make sure that...

Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says,‘Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner. She's not...

A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw. The man, terrified, screamed, 'STOP! STOP...

One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on her butt and said, 'You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle.' While this was on the edge of intolerable, she glared at him and replied with silence. The next morning the man woke...

That's a yes. :D

Cash - Honestly? None. Watching the markets for 4 years and grinding it out the hard way through experience was my best teacher.

OK here but have no QM volume data

SATA provides no real benefit unless you're running in a RAID(0) (striped) configuration; then you'll definitely see speed improvements on the order of 2:1. But for single drives? EIDE is the way to go. Case in point, my original EIDE drives were running about 48 MB/s now with 2xSATA striped...

A guy walks into a bar in Virginia and orders a white wine. All the hillbillies sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see Some pitiful Yankee from the north. The bartender says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?" The guy says, "No, I'm from Canada." The bartender says, "What do...

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim Suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly Jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim...

Hillary Clinton is elected President in 2008 and is spending her first night in the White House. She has waited so long..... The ghost of George Washington appears, and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?" Washington says, "Never tell a lie." "Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't...

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work.Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, sees the illegal lovers and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. Then the woman's husband unexpectedly comes home. She hides her lover in the cupboard, not realising that...