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Serious Sunburn Accident A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets a horrible sunburn. He is taken to the hospital by ambulance and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second degree burns. With his skin already starting to blister and noting the severe pain...

Only Golfers would understand. . . A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole in one when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor...

Subject: Honest Answer!!! In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was walking slowly up to...

Is you Democrat, Republican or Texan??? Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist (Muslim Fascist?) with a...

Young, attractive, buxom blonde along with a Texas Oil Man were waiting to board the Rental Car bus at the airport. As the bus stopped and it was the Blonde's turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was way too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the 1st step of the...

Sounds like a government job to me! A guy goes to the U.S. Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "have you been in the service?" "Yes," he says. "I was in Viet Nam for three years". The interviewer says, "That will give you extra points toward employment" and...

Sorry. . . .It's PGA Championship Week!! A gushy reporter told Phil Michelson, "You are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What's your secret?" Michelson replied, "The holes are numbered"...

Poor Little Girl - her pet Goldfish was taken from her. . . .

HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be: 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a...

Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! ! How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a...

NEW WORDS: Essential additions to the workplace vocabulary. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then...

Cajun Newlyweds: Boudreaux fell in love with Marie and asked her to marry him. Now, Marie was very naive and uninformed about the birds and the bees. Boudreaux was a poor fisherman and could not afford to take time off for a honeymoon. So, that night that they were married, they...

Obvious Religious Observations: During these serious times people of all faiths should remember these 4 religious truths: 1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people 2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah 3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of...

Epensive Brothel: The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. "May I help you?" she asked. "I want to see Valerie," the man replied. "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would...

Tiger in Ireland. . . On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his Porsche into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant who obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golf pro is...

Couple of Blond Jokes. . . . JUMP: Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump...

Socially Significant Scientific Breakthrough Great news A British company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants. This is a major breakthrough, since Women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

One day while he was at the track betting on the ponies and nearly losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race. Mitch was most...

A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag. The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one foot high and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a...

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?" "No," he replied, "arthritis."