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Watch your language Catholic priest and a nun were taking a rare afternoon off and enjoying a round of golf. The priest stepped up to the first tee and took a mighty swing. He missed the ball entirely and said "Shit, I missed." The good Sister told him to watch his language. On...

Best Free Rooms IMHO HotComm Woodie's CCI Club...biggest by far Trader's Haven mIRC #emini on Othernet But a thought. If you want calls, why don't you just have someone else trade for you? Much easier!

Why ARE Men Happier? Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. If you cook a meal you expect praise even if it was not edible...

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. "Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!"...

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her some place expensive.................... .......................................So I took her to a gas station!!!!!!!

This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks. One in each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar. He has a few drinks and chats with the Bartender. The Bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the...

DOG PET PEEVES ABOUT HUMANS Blaming your farts on me...not funny. Yelling at me for barking...I'M A DOG YOU IDIOT!! Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway? Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it...

THE TEXAS PREACHER The Texas preacher rose with an angry red face. "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one, which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want...

An American golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a wee Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head, and the golfer's ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer poured a bit of Irish whiskey over the little guy to revive him...

Robek, If I thought this was true, I wouldn't have posted it under "jokes" would I? Lighten up dude. LOL.:)

http://www.usna54.net/donsong.htm I don't look good naked anymore!

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics: >> 29 have been accused of spousal abuse >> 7 have been arrested for fraud >> 19 have been accused of writing bad checks >> 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at...

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?" The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars." "What...

Best short joke of the year. A three year old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. "Mama," he asked, "Are these my brains?" Mama answered, "Not yet." :confused:

Living Will is Best Revenge -by ROBERT FRIEDMAN, Perspective Editor Published March 27, 2005 Like many of you, I have been compelled by recent events to prepare a more detailed advance directive dealing with end-of-life issues. Here's what mine says: In the event I lapse into a...

A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids . . . "WOW," the social worker exclaims, are they ALL YOURS???" "Yep they are all mine," the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, "Sit down Leroy." All the children rush to...

A lady walked into a Lexus dealership to browse and spotted the most beautiful, perfect,"loaded" Lexus & walked over to inspect it. As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little burst of flatulence escaped her. Very embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to...

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)...

Don't you feel like doing this to at least ONE person a day?

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They went to see "Closed for the Winter." ************** Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? She heard that one out of every four children born in the world was Chinese. ***************...