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1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America.....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions...

A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, She sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy! What do you think I should do?" "Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down... Now...

Come on Eileen - Dexy's midnight runners

Two psychiatrists met at their 20th medical-school reunion. While one was vibrant, the other looked withered and worried. "So what's your secret?" the older looking psychiatrist asked. "Listening to other people's problems all day long for years has made an old man of me." Replied the younger...

The top 13 ways to confuse Santa Claus 1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. 2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket. 3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've...

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?" To which the man replies, "Those are called condoms, son.... Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh, I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of...

A few friends went to play golf. One friend who played very badly was bragging about his new found hobby, The Art of Chinese Tea Drinking. Ofcourse he bored us to death. To try to stop him from bragging further, another friend interupted him by telling that he has one or two things to learn...