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A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of...

An elderly couple was attending church services, about halfway through she leans over and says, " I just let a silent fart! What do you think I should do?" He replies "Put a new battery in your hearing aid"

That was my first year of trading, to a tee. Thanks, Bsulli :)

Indeed. YHOO pulled the same stunt 2 weeks ago, percentage-wise, and nobody said a peep. Just lop off a zero from GOOG and you've got YHOO's action.

GOOG is a search engine; big fat hairy deal. Ditto for EBAY, the only real internet auction house on the planet. Neither of them dictates the health of the economy so why should the broader markets give a rat's bit? INTC, MSFT, GM, DELL etc affect many sectors of the economy both upstream...

ROFLOL Don!

I'm tellin' ya. This technical analysis shit really works!

A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as the wife was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: 'Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving along...

A man planning to have a tryst with his lover calls his wife at home. ‘Honey, I need you to get my tackle box and an overnite bag ready, and leave them in the hall for me. When I get home tonite, I am heading out on a little fishing trip with the guys. Oh, and can you make sure that...

A man was having problems with premature ejaculation, so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, 'When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself.' That same day, the man went...

Both 17 and 19 have the same number of pixels (1280x1024) it's just that the pixels on the 19 are bigger so while you display the same window area, it's a little larger and easier on the eyes.

Two old farts are talking and one says, "I'll bet you any amount of money you want that my cock is longer soft than yours is hard." The other guy says "OK, I'll bet you $20. So how long is yours soft?" The first guy says, "Since 1957".

Unlike minute bars, whereby there's a fixed number of bars per day, tick charts will vary with market activity. Overnight you may get 2 ticks in a half hour but during a fed announcement you 'll get more ticks in one minute than you'd get in a week of ovenight sessions

I just opened up my ES tickfile and the first line was yesterday at 9:03am ET. I collect data from 8:00-4:15pm ET so that gives you an idea how little data is stored. Today was a heavy day remind you but you can see you're lucky to retain 2 days of ticks in MS. Hope this helps.

Norm - The only thing I can think of is an online data provider where they'll send it to you on a CD or download it in a zip file. In Metastock you'd have to break the data down to 65k line files or else it'll ignore anything >65k.

Metastock stores 65,500 lines of data, be they daily bars, minutes or ticks. I have 4 tick charts running in Metastock and they work fine. The software itself is not that good but it handles tick charts quite well.

3 point ES range peak-to-peak and 270k volume at 11:30ET . . . seems like they're taking a 5-day weekend.

A young blonde woman in Joliet, Illinois, was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the I&M canal. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the dock, crying...

That was hilarious. I never realized P&T were so funny. I thought they were 2 stiffs who performed theatre or something.

After 5 years, finally . . . consistently profitable. :D