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The Rambo Granny of Melbourne, Australia Gun-toting granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when two thugs raped her 18-year-old granddaughter that she tracked the unsuspecting ex-cons down - - and shot off their testicles. The old lady spent a week hunting those men down -- and when she...

While Eve was walking in the garden she heard a voice, "how is everything going?" inquired God. "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied, "the sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It's these breasts you have...

An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a Drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life, breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing...

It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but, here is one: Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he...

Old Men, Umbrellas and Beavers A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have a 24-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?" The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter...

TEN things to say when caught sleeping @ your desk! 10. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen.." 9. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to!" 8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just...

Nothing like stating the obvious. . . . The time has finally come... Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! ! How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really...

Heartless, just Heartless. . . . Two guys in a bar. One says, "Did your hear the news? Mike is dead!" "Whoa, what the hell happened to him?" "Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived at my driveway, he was going too fast, couldn't brake properly and...

Hey, is one of the best 'Joke-Meisters' back-in-the-saddle? Thanks Yannis!!

Best I've felt in years!!! Now, what was the objective??

Subject: Inner peace I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on the Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish...

They're back! Church Bulletins: Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. The sermon this morning: "Jesus walks on the water." The sermon...

Male and Female Prayer versions Female Prayer: Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong, One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks,One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's gainfully employed...

To impress a woman: Wine her. Dine her. Call her. Hold her. Surprise her. Compliment her. Smile at her. Listen to her. Laugh with her. Cry with her. Romance her. Encourage her. Believe in her. Pray with her. Pray for her. Cuddle with her. Shop with her...

A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, "You promised me two weeks ago that you would quit cheatting on me!" Trying his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says...

The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. "Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded. "Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to...

True Story - Jacksonville, FL Police Dept. A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no -- he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car...

True story ... good laugh This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates...but this takes the cake. This just tells you how tough it is to be single nowadays . This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to...

Slow start to a new week, but here goes: DEEP OBSERVATIONS ON LIFE...USELESS, BUT DEEP: 1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. --Author Unknown 2) Advice for the day: If you...

This year's 'Too Dumb to Live' Honors: First Place Candidate for this year's Darwin Awards. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder - He peered...