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Where's my Wife? A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked. "Because every time I talk...

The Blonde at the Casino. Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With...

History Of Military Uniform Colors We should remember the origins, history and tradition of the uniforms worn with pride by militaries around the world. For example, a long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, the French captured an English colonel. Taking him to...

Cheaper than Viagra?? The Worm... A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars...

Railroads, Rockets and Horse's Asses: The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet - 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US Railroads...

The Curse of being a Jewish President This is a story about the first Jewish president of the United States. One day, his mother calls him on the telephone. "Bernie, tomorrow is Hanukkah, I want you should come home and be with the family." "But Ma, I'm the president of the United...

Man's Lack of Patience. . . God was just about done creating man, but he had two things left over in his bag and He couldn't quite decide how to split them between Adam and Eve. He thought He might just as well ask them. He told them one of the things he had left was a thing that...

Terrorist Plans and their Support A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What happened?" "Terrorists have kidnapped Hillary Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Jesse Jackson, and...

Understanding Engineers - Take One Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike...

WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, Dec. 19,2005 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM. Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube...

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water...

The Obedient Wife There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to put all of my money in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the...

Best 10 Caddie Replies 10. Golfer: "I think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?" 9. Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."...

To Drink .... or not to Drink?? Senator Hillary Clinton was attending a party, when she noticed the Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger. She walked over to him, and in a quiet voice said, "If you were my husband I would poison your drink." Schwarzenegger smiled, leaned...

Subject: The Hypnotist A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in...

Un-Natural Political Evolution "THE PLAN" Okay, here's the plan: Back off and let men marry men, women marry women and then totally legalize funded abortions. In three generations, there will be no Democrats!!! Damn! I love it when a plan comes together!

Two-for-One Special Subject: Hit man Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up." "Sure," they said, "You're welcome to play with us."...

It's taken a few years to get Mr. Clinton's Official Presidential Portrait ready for viewing (especially the lower left corner):

Logical Progression - The Herd and Your Brain (From Cliff Clavin, a character on the TV show "Cheers") "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that...

Manhood Aptitude Test Subject: Manhood Test Test Of Manhood 1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as: A. Lovemaking B. Screwing C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town. 2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both...