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Subject: Democratic National Convention for 2008 Just Released - Agenda for the Democratic National Convention for 2008: 7:00 PM Opening flag burning. 7:15 PM Pledge of allegiance to U.N. and opening song by the DixieChicks 7:30 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast 7:30– 8:00 PM P.M...

Well obviously ET is full of shit....and these fellas want to take a load off.....oh my....rofl

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question, and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only...

Dear Kotex, I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as: *Staying active during your period can relieve cramps. *Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches. *Drink 6-8 glasses...

Dear Diary, Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double pane energy-efficient kind. Then, this week I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them...

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died And went to heaven. , St. Peter told Arthur. "Since you've Been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven." Arthur thought about it and said, "I want...

You are right. I have a lot of free time. I take 2-3 high probability set ups in a day. So that leaves plenty of time to socialize. LOL. :D

This is the first thread about Woodie and his room that is not full of garbage. Wow, how refreshing. I have been lurking in the room for 3 years and have found it tough going. Until I added a couple of tweaks and now it works well, but it would be awfully tough to automate. I wait for...

A man loses his hat, so he goes to church to steal one off of the hat rack. When he gets there, the priest is giving his sermon on the Ten Commandments. Something in the sermon gives the man a flash of insight and, after mass, the man goes to confession to tell the priest what he was going to...

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads : "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM Machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their...

Symbolism The Indian chief introduced his wife to a newspaper reporter. The reporter asked her name. The chief replied, "Three Horse." "That's a picturesque name," said the reporter. "Does it have a deep symbolism?" "Yes," the chief replied. "Nag, nag, nag!" :D

SENIOR DRESS CODE Many of us "Old Folks" are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together And should be avoided: 1. A nose ring and bifocals 2. Spiked hair and bald spots 3. A...

We've all heard about Idiots & Morons. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below.... IDIOT: arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by the wife with a broom, and asking: "Are you...

WOMEN'S HUMOR One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, AUBURN...

This Should Explain It All... A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were! getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical...

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They went to see "Closed for the Winter." *************** Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? She heard that one out of every four children born in the world was Chinese...

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music & loud conversation and every once in a while, the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the...

I lost my appetite...

Only the arrow lets me know what the sign means. :confused: More Chinese English

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