Search results

A labor union rep walks into a bar next door to the factory and is about to order a drink to celebrate Obama’s victory when he sees a guy close by wearing a Romney for President button and two beers in front of him. He doesn't have to be an Einstein to know that this guy is a Republican. So...

Mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a couple nice cold beers. The day was really quite beautiful, and the brew facilitated some deep thinking on various topics. Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the Nuts...

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray...

Little Akio The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said, 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Akio, a bright foreign exchange student from Japan, who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775," he said. "Very...

A Man's Age, as Determined by a Trip to Home Depot You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house --. Mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt or paint. You have your...

Celebrate Blissful Ignorance: Not every flower can say love, but a rose can. Not every plant survives thirst, but a cactus can. Not every retard can read, but look at you having a go at it! Today is International Retard Day. Please send an encouraging message to a screwed up...

If already posted, forgive me my slothfulness. . . . If not, it's funny, I swear!!

The Healing Southern Baptist preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar." With that, Bernie Madoff got in line. When it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Mr. Madoff, what do you want me to pray about for you?"...

Belated Valentine's Advice Card

Islamic Salmon Analogy. . . .

Vote YOUR Pocket-Book (or for some, they'll do it for you). . . .

I think of David Ferehty as an Irish Robin Williams, who was a professional golfer, now a TV commentator for Golf Channel & has his own show. The stuff that just rolls off of his lips is so funny that for a few years they wouldn’t even let him do the Masters coverage for fear he would offend...

Subject: Occupy PGA Tour I am a member of golf's 99%. I play golf, but have not yet made it to the professional level!! I have played the game for over 40 years, but have not really put in the practice time and study to be the best. I also probably do not have the skills to really get...

Subject: Texas Police Do Care Texas Police Do Care I get irritated when people come down on our police officers, saying that they don't care about or respect others. Well, here is a story that clearly shows not all cops are in that category. This...

Not sure this stuff is True, but, makes some good Stories. . . . 2011 Darwin Awards Are Out It's that time again. The 2011 DARWIN Awards are out. The annual honor is given to the persons who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid...

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas. Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in...

(I suppose we could substitue "Nutmeg" for Guido. . . .) A virile, middle-aged Italian gentlemen named Guido was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman. Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment...

ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REGULAR JOB (BUT, they might be Traders. . . .) 1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me." 2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the...

The 2 worst presidents for running (ruining) a thriving economic model in my lifetime were back-to-back!! Has to be a "laughable" joke in there somewhere. . . . .

Please vote in 2012. Actual Alabama Billboard. . . .