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An Easy Decision A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says: "Who the...

DADDY! HOW WAS I BORN?" Junior asks his dad, His dad, who is a software engineer sighs and replies: "Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have to find out anyway! Well, I saw your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on YAHOO." Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and...

Watch What You Eat For those of you who watch what you eat, it's a relief to finally know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies. So, here's the final word on nutrition and health: 1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans...

Gender Chemistry: Example Element : Woman Symbol : Wo (woe is me) Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 kg may vary from 40 – 200 kg Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas Physical properties : 1. Surface usually covered in painted film 2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any...

Married A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm...

The Best Excuse A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights...

GIRL: I have done a great sin. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD. PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that? GIRL: Well, he kissed me. PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this? GIRL: .. Yes! PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a...

IT'S EITHER BAD OR TERRIBLE The phone rings. The lady of the house answers, "Yes?" "Mrs. Ward, please." "Speaking" "Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your Doctor sent your husband's samples to the lab, the samples from another Mr. Ward were...

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking. Maude: What in the hell is that? Mable: A condom. This way my...

Oldie But Still Very Funny After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the...

Word Mongering A day without sunshine is like . . . Night. On the other hand, you have different fingers. I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. I feel like I'm...

B5476, I totally agree, execution is where the meat is. However, I spend a lot of time developing or trying out new methods and systems. While these tools are still cooking, I tend to trade 1 - 3 contracts each time; and saving a major chunk of that commission is not bad. Having said...

Maude And Claude Maude and Claude, both 91, lived in a retirement community. They met in the social center and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company. After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted. They...

Oldies But Goodies I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got...

Other than TradeStation, MBTrading and IB, does anyone know of any other inexpensive (but reliable) stock options brokers that charge about the same rates (~$1/contract/side, no minimum/ticket charge)? Any input would be appreciated. TIA!

Another Texas Story A West Texas cowboy walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and as she and her sister owned the store, there were no males employed there. She then asked if she could help the gentleman...

Repeated more or less similar experiment but focusing on the spring 2005 market for the forward test (optimizing 2 years back or 2 months back depending on whether I was looking at the daily or the 30-min charts.) In this way I was trying to alleviate any possibility that my previous poor...

Status Report After fooling around with the eASCTrend Deluxe+ system for a couple of weeks, watching their videos, reading their material and remembering how to work it, I developed a very simple but somewhat carefully crafted protocol to test its ability to trade stocks successfully...

I don't know of any other website like Collective2 - it certainly is a good idea! I like it and have learned a lot from it. There are several interesting systems there. However, most have not posted a sufficiently long track record yet, so the jury is still out. I tried to play with a few free...

Getting back to the topic of this trend, Ablesys seems to have a good trading tool in eASCTrend, as witnessed by the many TASC awards they have been winning over the past several years. It certainly has a whole lot of interesting features that traders can use, and a cheap form of eSignal real...