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The Army has been experimenting for years to come up with a liquid that will eat through anything and they finally did it. It eats through glass, stainless steel, iron,and all kinds of metal, rock and granite. Now if they could only find something to put it in... :p :p :p :p

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this, Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded...

The Internal Revenue Service sent their auditor to a synagogue. The auditor is doing all the checks and then turns to the Rabbi, and says, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles." "Yes," answered the Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he asked. "A good...

80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention. The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?" A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the...

OK, TA, I see your animal joke and raise you one... A family of skunks was trapped in a thicket, surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves that were edging even closer. The Mother skunk calmly instructed her young: "Quickly children, let's put our heads together!" After they obeyed, forming a...

How very true!!! :p

Think again! :p

FIRST DEGREE A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't...

...cheeks, but, taking a good look at the object of the song (his opening) up close, she hesitated for a precious second, allowing him the opportunity to shove his lyre down her drooling, gaping jaws, jump off the lamppost and run across the street, while the cell phone was ringing again in his...

(and by three I mean the two desperados and the horse) ...leaving poor Don sitting on the pavement with that bewildered daytrader look on his face. As the crowd started gathering and muttering and joking and poking, he stood up, tall and big, and yelled as loud as he could: People of Las...

“I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income and have enclosed a check for $200.00. If I still can’t sleep, I will send the rest.” :p :p

When a trader goes to Florida for the winter... :p

I was the tall, handsome, smart guy in very elegant, expensive, business-casual clothes. :p

HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED WITH ACCESS TO A LIGHT AIRPLANE! :p

On the other hand, I attended the presentations by the Realtick people and two seminars given by Mike Di Gioia and Malcolm Murray of Pristine. Imo, they were all excellent. Yes, they were talking about their products and offerings, which, I happen to think, are pretty good, but they were...

I attended this seminar and was totally disappointed. My opinion is that the title should have been "7 Steps To Mastering Trading Cliches" Nothing really wrong with her words or (endless) lists, but nothing really new or exiting. Perhaps it had been designed for the very new traders. Oh well :)

I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here. - Stephen Bishop He is a self-made man & worships his creator. - John Bright He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. - Winston Churchill A modest little person, with much to be modest about. -...

ABBOT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking about buying a computer. ABBOT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the names Lou. ABBOT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one. ABBOT: Mac? COSTELLO: I...

This past Friday, everything went wrong because I was caught on the wrong side of the market (no one had told me that the market was going to drop ) :( Anyway, here are my exits: NTIQ LONG EXIT AVG. $13.56 -.2 BRCD LONG EXIT AVG. $6.61 -.39 ACTL LONG EXIT AVG. $26.51 -.64 Oh well...

Here are some silly jokes that aren't meant to be offensive, and if you are a Democrat please don't get angry! This is all just for fun... Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts? A: Change. Q: How do you confuse a Liberal? A: You don't. They're born that...