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The sales girl at the Pink Pussycat adult products boutique didn't bat an eye when the customer purchased an artificial vagina. "What are you going to use it for, sir?" she asked. "None of your business," answered the customer, beet red and thoroughly offended. "Calm down, buddy,"...

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female......Any part under a car's hood. Male..........The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female......Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male.........Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION...

An attorney went into a bar for a Martini and found himself sitting beside a scruffy looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. He leaned closer while the drunk held the round object up to the light, slurring, "Well, it looks plastic." Then he rolled it between his...

Grob, This looks like a good post. I think I can follow your logic, but I am not sure. The results seem to be promising, but I really couldn't tell you exactly why. At the end, I had this strange desire to go back to the BDT website and repeat your analysis, so that I get to understand it...

wwatson, This challenge sounds a lot like that old story of the man who approached a goodlooking woman in a bar and challenged her to prove to him that she was a good lover. If she did and won the bet, he'd give her $100. What on Earth was that idiot thinking? That if she refused to...

Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they must present something Christmassy. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a Christmas...

A man bumps into a friend and sees that his friend's car is a total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend, "What happened to your car?" "Well," the friend responds, "I ran into a lawyer." "OK," says the man, "that explains the blood. But...

The masochist begs: "Beat me, torture me, humiliate me, tie me up all night, pleeeeeease!" To which, the sadist responds, as he's turning his face the other way: "No!" :p

Brian, I hear you and agree with what you said, but, having done this for a while, I sleep better at night knowing that my risk is controlled and independent of what the likes of UBL et al do. Carrying futures overnight has potentially infinite risk. So, although I daytrade the eminis, for my...

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy, if the Pope...

Then what? :p

how? :p

Sam had been a soldier at war for more than three years, during which he had been in many battles and won many decorations. He was finally discharged from service and returned home to a wife and son whom he hadn't seen in almost four years. As he was walking up the path to his house, his young...

The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire." The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young...

Dear Kids, I am very happy in the new residence you have put me in. This week we actually got to go outside for an hour. I haven't been feeling angry good this week - the friend I shared a room with died yesterday. I am coping pretty well with my sorrows. It's been six months since you've...

It's amazing how much the military has changed over the past 10-15 years. For instance, the “ground pounders” now have night goggles, infrared vision filters, and a whole slew of different doo-dads in their arsenal. I also understand that soldiers are now issued a dozen condoms each...

* My lawyer is bilingual. He speaks English and double talk. * A lawyer is an expert on justice in much the same way your average hooker is an expert on love. * A lawyer is walking down the street and he steps in a pile of dog shit. A few seconds later he happens to look down at his feet...

A pickpocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said, "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100." The pickpocket's lawyer then stood up and said, "Thank you, your honor. My client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd..." :p

A squad of American soldiers was patrolling along the Iraqi border. To their surprise, they found the badly mangled dead body of an Iraqi soldier in a ditch along the road. A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road...

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, “I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests. So what else would you like to be?” The first priest...