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What is the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence? I don’t know and I don’t care, one way or the other! :p :p :p :p :p

At an entrance - Woman: Did you open the door for me because I am a lady? Man: No, I did it because I am a gentleman. :p :p :p :p

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive...!" :p :p :p

A couple is dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They phone for a cab, turn on a night light, cover their pet parakeet and put the cat out in the back yard. The taxi arrives, and they open the front door to leave. Suddenly the cat they put out scoots back into the house. They don't...

Ted was having trouble with my computer. So he called Rick the computer guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons, solved the problem and gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, Ted called after him, "So, what was wrong?" He replied, "It was an ID...

Cimballi, LOL!! Not bad for a first joke... welcome to the thread, stick around, post another good one! :)

A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, “I don’t like the looks of your wife at all,” “Me neither doc,” said the husband. “But she’s a great cook and really good with the kids.” :p

A man walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He replied, "I got shingles." She said, "Fill out this form and supply your name, address, medical insurance number. When you're done, please take a seat." Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked...

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says, "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately." The guy says okay, and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving...

“Sorry, officer,” said the driver who was stopped for driving 130 miles an hour on the highway, “was I, by any chance, driving a bit too fast?" “Oh no, sir, not at all," the officer answered politely, "it is just that you were flying a bit too low!” :p

(Just in case our Mexican friends get the idea that we don't know beans about their history) The City of Puebla, in the state of the same name has taken important roles in Mexico's history. It was taken in 1811 by Independence forces. It was soon retaken by Spanish loyalists and it wasn't...

TA, This story is very interesting, I'm sure it's accurate. Is it also true that the New York importing company had to get a replacement for that load of mayonnaise to send down to Mexico, but they couldn't find anything good, they just sent regular New Jersey mayonnaise down there, via...

Yes, MrS, some could see this as a sad picture. Trouble is, every time I look at it, I laugh. Perhaps it's just me. But, that's the great thing about humor, it helps us laugh at our misfortunes. Maybe it is that it looks so much like the old TV cartoons and the Three Stoodges films we all...

Oh NOOOOO!!! :p :p

OR ELSE!!! :D :D

- "And here's Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago." (David Coleman) - "Its a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs" (David Coleman) - "We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite."...

A French man nearly got away with stealing a number of paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the robbery and getting in and out and past security, he was captured by a group of English tourists only three blocks away when his Econoline mini-van ran out of gas. When his captors asked...

Scientists at the University of Dublin, Ireland, revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed 1000 men 22 pints of beer each and observed that 99.7 percent of them gained weight, talked incessantly without making sense, and couldn’t drive...

Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until...

There is a two letter word that perhaps has more meaning than any other two letter word – it’s “UP.” It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we waken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we...