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Things To Do In An Elevator 1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you. 2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 3) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they...

Thanks Stephen, I appreciate your help.

I am not sure if this topic belongs here, but I am looking for vendors who would lease me well supported computer capacity to run automated trading systems from. The concept is that professional firms could guarantee very high uptime and fast connections to the exchanges via the Internet...

COLD, COLD WINTER It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Chief in a modern society he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was...

Thanks Francis, I appreciate your help. :)

The Quiz Contest Chukchuk is in a Quiz Contest trying to win Prize money of $1 Million USD. The questions are as follows: 1) How long was the 100 yr war? A) 116 B) 99 C) 100 D) 150 Chukchuk says, "I will skip this" 2) In which country are the Panama hats made? A) BRASIL B) CHILE...

TradeBolt? I was told that by using TradeBolt to take signals off Tradestation and manage them / send them off to a broker like IB, some of the autotrading shortcomings of the TS platform can be overcome or compensated for. Is this true? Can anyone explain or support this assertion? I...

Oh Brother!! A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies...

Thanks for the good input folks, I really appreciate your help :)

Important Detail A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc...

Well, in your experience, is #1 relatively safe? in other words, can TS do it almost right, with an occasional slip-up, like a partial fill that has to be completed or else the next order gets seriously messed up? In that case, how about entering and exiting with stop-market orders? Would that...

I have developed a couple of good systems for TS and was thinking of autotrading them. Does anyone have experience doing that? Any good/bad memories while using that particular TS feature? Strengths and weaknesses of TS in this mode of trading? Any caveats that could help me? I would appreciate...

djclif, What? June 2205? That's more than 200 years from now, man! Don't you have anything closer? :D

A FEW HOT ITEMS COWS Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington And they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11...

The Switch A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed at home. He wanted her to see what he went through each day, so he prayed : "Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours of hard work, while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I...

Shut Up Man!!! On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20, for their first lovemaking encounter: In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for the next 30 years, with him thinking...

Another Bar Story There was a man sitting at a barstool, and he looks over at the gentleman sitting next to him and says, "Hey, you look familiar. Are you from around here?" The man answers, "Yeah, I live down the street." "No kidding?" says the first man, "Well, so do I. And hey, you look...

Another Guru Story The disciple: "Master, Master, is there life after death?" The Guru (smiling and reaching for the disciple's throat): "Well, hmmm... how bad do you want to know?" :D

Parlez vous Francais? "...And in a related story, CNN is reporting that the French Government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The raised alert was precipitated by a...

Murphy's Law: Examples It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. You can't have everything...