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I think "the feds" screwed up royally. Where the hell were they? This is what our National Guard is for, not fighting in Iraq. They are supposed to help our country in time of need. They are supposed to help with keeping our borders safe. I am not happy with "the feds"at all...

White man's guilt did not elect him. Just a whole pile of stupid people voted for the village idiot. :(

The Dentist The dentist told his patient that her X-rays showed he would have to drill her painful tooth. She grimaced and said, "Oh, no! I hate drilling! I'd rather have a baby!" "Well, make up your mind," the dentist replied. "I have to adjust the chair!" :confused:

More proof of Global Warming. This is the model for 2000:D

Golfing With Doc... I was playing golf with my doctor friend one day. He ALWAYS hit his drives right down the middle of the fairway. My problem was that I ALWAYS hooked my ball completely off the fairway. I asked him for help and he offered to give me a physical to see if he could...

Q: Why did God create yeast infections? A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt once in a while too. Q . How can you tell a macho woman? A. She rolls her own tampons. Q. Why do gays like ribbed condoms? A. Better traction in the mud. Q. What is...

Sandwich Shop A man is walking down the street and he sees a sign that catches his eye: "Cheese Sandwich: $1.50; Handj*b: $10.00." Intrigued, he walks inside the tavern and spots an exceptionally beautiful blonde woman behind the counter. He looks at her, and she smiles back...

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. She began to interview young lawyers. "As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first...

ALASKAN HUMOR A day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers on the porch. "We're sorry Mr. Wilkins, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper. "Well tell me now! Did you...

Why Computers Sometimes Crash! (with apologies to Dr. Seuss) ***This sounds better if you read it to yourself aloud.*** I f a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then...

Three Blondes Three blondes died in a car crash trying to jump the GrandCanyon and are at the Pearly Gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?" The blonde replies, "Oh...

A very attractive blond woman dropped her car off at an auto repair shop, complaining to the service manager about a clunking noise whenever she went around corners. The manager sent the auto mechanic a repair order that said to check for a clunking noise when going around corners. The...

Three Lawyers and Three Engineers Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked...

Words To Live By 1. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 2. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 3. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. 4. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. 5. If you must choose between two...

Pulled Over For Speeding A young woman was pulled over for speeding in Otago, New Zealand. As the Central Otago officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Central Otago Police Ball." "Central Otago Police...

BREAKFAST She was in the kitchen preparing boiled eggs for breakfast. Her husband walks in and asks, "What's for breakfast?" She turns to him and anxiously says, "Quick! You've got to make love to me this very moment!" Thinking it's his lucky day, he stands her over the kitchen table...

FLORIDA BIKER AND HIS BABE.....:D

Tips Say A Lot A man finished his meal at a restaurant and left his tip: three pennies. As he walked out, his waitress mumbled, loud enough for him to hear, "You can tell a lot about a man by the tip he leaves." The man spun around, and asked, "Really? What exactly does my tip say to...

A Plan to save bankrupt airlines: Replace all female flight attendants with some good-lookin' strippers! What the hell? The attendants have gotten old and haggard-looking. They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss? The strippers would double, triple, perhaps quadruple the...

Sad, but it happens to us all! LOL (if we are lucky):eek: