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Chinese Caution Sign in fractured english

Chinese ATM in fractured english

Saving Money As a painless way to save money, a young couple agreed that every time they made love the husband would put his pocket change into a piggy bank. One night, during a particularly athletic session of love-making, he knocked the bank off the table. It hit the floor and...

How come it's always a blonde? To prepare for his big date, a young man went to the rooftop of his apartment to work on his tan. Not wanting any tan lines, he sunbathed in the nude but fell asleep and burned his penis. Not wanting to miss out on his date with the hot blonde, he applied...

Biology Lesson - Aussie Style A biology professor at the University of Australia was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first-year medical students. Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He...

A man joins a big corporate empire as a trainee. On his very first day of work, he dials the pantry and shouts into the phone, "Get me a coffee quickly!" The voice from the other side responded, "You fool, you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dummy?" "No,"...

Two Shots of Whiskey A man walks into a bar and orders two shots of whiskey. He drinks one and pours the other shot in his hand. He did this three times before the bartender finally asked him, "Why do you drink one shot and pour the other in your hand?" The man replies, "I'm...

A little boy asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom,so she said yes. When he went to wipe his bum there was no toilet paper so he used his hands. When he got back to class his teacher asked, 'What do you have in your hand.'The boy said, 'A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll...

A little boy and a little girl, both about eight years old, were playing in the sandbox. Unexpectedly, the little boy farts, causing a little sand between his legs to shift. The little girl notices, and squeals with laughter. "How'd you do that?" she asks. Easy," he exclaimed, "I just...

The Half Wit A man owned a small ranch in Montana. The Montana Wage & Hour Dept. claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent. "Well," replied...

Your mother and my ex.:p

By all means...smoke a doobie. I need someone on the other side of my trade so I can rob them blind! Good god man, if I ain't sober, I ain't trading!:D

Men are like Laxatives..... They irritate the crap out of you. Men are like Bananas...... The older they get, the less firm they are. Men are like Weather..... Nothing can be done to change them. Men are like Blenders... You need One, but you're not quite sure why. Men are like Chocolate...

THIS ISN'T SO DAMN FUNNY!!! "Cheap labor" "The phrase "cheap labor" is a myth, a farce, and a lie. There is no such thing as "cheap labor." Take, for example, an illegal Mexican who sneaks in here with his wife and five children. He takes a job for five or six dollars an hour. At...

All In The Family Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems. Finally, the other man said: "You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation. "A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter. We got...

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning, the wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here?" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some young woman...

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen. "What's wrong dearest?" asked the confused husband. "Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic...